"Cut! Alright, people let's get a move on. The sooner we finish the next scene the sooner we get to go home."
A muted cheer goes through the crew. We are 16 hours into a tough shoot, made tougher by the incessant whining of the lead actress - "i'm too hot. I'm too cold. Why can't the stunt woman do that scene?"
Yes, let the stunt girl do the scene. Kadie and I work together much better than that witch and I. Don't they say dogs are good judges of character? When they were handing out character and intelligence that girl stood in the looks line. Other actors will scratch me behind the ears or give me treats (more liver, please!). Sunshine Simcoe flinches if I brush past her leg, so I take every opportunity to lick her hands. Call me petty.
Who calls their kid Sunshine, anyway? I have this theory about kids who end up with weird names. They either end up famous or drug addicts. Or both. Remember River Phoenix? What every happened to Moon Unit Zappa? And for the current girl du jour, how about Leighton Meester? Leighton? Really? Of course, she was born while her mother was in the hoosegow serving a sentence for distributing marjuana, so the only way Leighton had to go was up.
As the director massaged Sunshine's ego and begged for another take, Kadie whistled and I trotted to her, head cocked, tongue lolling, awaiting a command. She swung her hand in a semi-circle by her left thigh; that was my cue to heel.
"Let's stroll, Atticus. I can tell this is going to take a while." I gave Kadie's hand a lick as I got to her side. Mmmm....her fingers tasted like the chicken wings she had for lunch. I know, I know. Chicken bones can be deadly for dogs. But that hadn't stopped me from using my sad puppy dog eyes to try and get a bite. No dice.
Kadies makes my food. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the effort, and from talking to pooches at the dog park I know I am spoiled, but would it hurt to add a little flavour to the mix? Bring on some BBQ sauce!
Today marks what was to be the halfway mark of a shoot that is expected to go for three months. We are behind in the schedule and over on the budget. The deadly behind/overage double whammy the film producer dreads. Kadie is Sunshine's stunt double and I have the noble role of sidekick as Sunshine's character searches for her kidnapped sister in the city of Chicago. Of course, we are not in Chicago, we are in Vancouver, Canada, which is filling in for Chicago.
I heard the director say he loved the crews in Vancouver and it was cheaper to film here, but he posited that the weather stunk. I could not agree more. Summer in Vancouer is supposed to be warm, but our shoot was to run from January 15th to March 30, the rainy season. The way the shoot is dragging we may be here until the weather turns. But, now it is grey, grey, grey. Get me back to Los Angeles for some sunshine. Not that Sunshine, the one that beams from the heavens.
I am an airedale, so I have hair, not fur. I don't shed much but I do need a hair cut every four months or I look like a woolly stuffed animal. My ancestors were bred in England to be hunting dogs, so theoretically, my heavy coat is to protect me while I hunt on the damp moors. Damp, yes, pouring rain, no. As a result, Kadie has me wearing some frou-frou coat to protect me. I don't know what would be less offensive - cold and shivering or humiliated by a purple nylon coat complete with hood and matching booties. She explained to me that I need to be presentable when I am on screen, but, are booties really necessary?
Despite my outfit, I was happy to have time with Kadie. She has been distracted lately; my normal morning run has gone from 90 minutes to 45 and a few nights this week she has gone to bed crying. I do my best to make her feel better with gentle nudges and cuddles but this has not helped the way it usually does.
Overhearing her speaking to her friend Simon on the phone, I know she is under pressure to finish her thesis - she is completing a Masters in English Literature at UCLA. Why do humans take life so seriously? The way dogs see it if you have food, a good run, some stuffy toys and a family to cuddle, life is pretty damned good.
I think all this angst has something to do with money. Not really sure what that is, but many of the film crew talk about it in relation to an overdue mortgage; not certain what that is either, other than it hangs over peoples heads, though I have yet to see one. Those mortgages must be sneaky and dastardly. I have good eyes and I have yet to see one.
Not only do dogs have good eyes, especially at night, dogs have much better hearing than humans. (Which, for your information, is why we can hear the mailman when he is half way down the block, justifying barking from that point until he deposits the mail in the slot and runs for the gate). As a result, even in my doggie reverie, I hear the scream first, as it gurgles in Sunshine's throat and then rises in panic, until everyone on the set knows that something has gone very wrong...
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Mystery / ThrillerKadie Woods was an English major at Princeton when she was attacked and left for dead. Her scars, physical and emotional have driven her to the west coast and Los Angeles were she takes every self defence class she can find. Now a proficient Marti...
