A Change of Heart

Wednesday March 10 to Thursday March 11, 1490

All this Secunda-ing was teaching me why Thoren had never had enough time for me. Our nice family breakfast the next day quickly degenerated into yet another interminable House conference. First item on the agenda: Why in the world Ghallim showed up with a mangled white rabbit that Ashton had dragged in overnight. Although Mother Doria sent in perfectly lovely loaves of fresh barley bread, he proceeded to skin and gut the bunny right on the coffee table, adding fresh blood to the stains that Ynez's dismembered guilt serpent had already left. At the sight, I gagged and hid my face in Lily's neck, and Ynez turned green before swallowing hard and offering bravely (and pointedly), "We could have our cook prepare that for you."

Tucking the pelt into his belt, Ghallim shook his head. "No, thank you. Ashton believes zat cooked meat eez a sign of weakness unworthy of a true 'unter." When he hacked off a rabbit leg and ripped off a hunk of flesh with his bare teeth, my head tingled with a sense that the lynx-god had just grown larger and brighter, and that Ghallim himself had gained magical strength. Ah. They had been hunting magical growth then.

One item on the agenda down. Tel provided the second, bouncing in full of smiles and energy — and ignorance. "Good morning!" he greeted us cheerfully, throwing himself onto the sofa between Ynez and me and folding his hands behind his head. "Well, I had a nice night. How about the rest of you?" During the awkward pause that followed, he closed his eyes in resignation. "Wait, no, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

Uncertainly, Ynez and I regarded each other. "Well," I said at last, "there are no net new dead people...."

Ghallim objected at once. "Yes, zere are! Just because you do not know zeir names does not make zem unimportant."

Oh, right — the collapsing buildings had crushed many of their inhabitants, and those deaths were also (indirectly) our fault. What good fortune that Tessa had chosen not to Ars Fati that particular assertion of mine!

With some amount of trepidation, Tel said, "Sooooo, I saw a bunch of buildings die. Which makes no sense because how can a building die? But anyway, people were dragging out all these dead bodies. Uh...we didn't do that, did we?"

Ghallim shook his head in (temporary) blissful ignorance. "No, I do not think so."

At his words, Ynez shifted restlessly, twisted her fingers together, and mumbled, "It was a backlash." She slid her eyes very quickly over to me, and in her guilty countenance I read Thanos' reason for taking Athena — to use her as a Paradox sink when he reversed time to save Zoe. And since the health of the city was tied to that of its patron goddess....

"Was eet? Whose backlash?" Ghallim demanded, dropping the rabbit. "What did you do after I went after Marina?"

Before Ynez could answer, Tel interrupted passionately, "This just proves my point! Everything we do only makes things worse! We should just stay here and not do anything!"

Did we get partial credit for staying here to do something drastic?

"Tel," Ynez said, regarding him a little nervously but trying to feign confidence. "We have a plan. We are going to get Thanos — "

"Thanos? He's bad news! We all know he's bad news! Why are we still dealing with him?"

Another very awkward silence as Ynez and Ghallim eyed me sidelong. Did I now bear the entire burden of our joint venture, the way Ynez bore all the responsibility for her and Tel's joint murder?

Heaving a sigh, I said succinctly, "There's a plan that we can't discuss."

"No, there's a plan that you can't discuss," Ynez retorted at once.