You must admit, it is hard to have more than one personality. By that, I basically mean it's hard to have a personality disorder. Or to even hate your main personality in general. Social phobia is hard to overcome even when you're a perfectionist who has that too. I usually lose myself in music and overcome my stress and fears with dancing. (Which you probably don't hear every day.) When I started to dance I felt like... what would you say... like all my problems flew away. I attempt to sing in Korean but chances of me learning a whole song would be like me having the chance to date Jungkook. (So yeah, that's not going anywhere.)
I try to hard to impress people and when things don't turn out as planned I usually just turn out to be annoying. Example, when I play tennis with my friend Abby I think I sort of disappoint her because I am bad. Even though she might say no that I don't disappoint her, I feel like I do and I don't blame her either. I was called a disappointment from a girl named Ella for not being good at a certain sport. I got a D- on my report card a long time ago and made my mom lose her mind because I told her how I got that. I was honest, I said because I was lazy and that was my mistake. I want to be much better and that is my goal in life.
I usually tell myself I am not good enough and then get told I am perfect from my friends. (Which I am not.) So they wonder why I take offense to that. The reason that I do is that of everything I will type in this journal. Now on the cover, you might realize I have some BTS members on there well that is because I listen to BTS to be happy. Plus the picture of Jungkook is the only colorful one well, that's because he smile makes me smile. I know that's weird but I mean, your bias probably makes you smile too.
I love dancing because I can express myself for once. I made someone cry the last time I danced my emotions out and I couldn't tell if it was because it was good or it was bad so yeah, not going to be a show-off about it either. I also have sung out my emotions and wrote a song about it too. I thought it was the utmost cringe song in the universe. I won't share that song because of it being that. (Plus I wrote it in second grade and lost it so yeah.)Should I tell you simple things about me? I probably should.
I have a pretty low percent when it comes to self-esteem. I love an abundance of colors depending on my mood. People claim my eyes are either green, blue, or gold. I can sing in Spanish, English, and a little bit of Korean. I am in a dance group with my two friends and we call ourselves OSS. We are learning dance moves from the music video "Dope" by BTS. Abby told me one day I was like the general of BTS because she claims I am that obsessed. (Which I am not.)
Actually, to be honest, I sort of don't know who I am myself.
