"It's all in her head"

#1 -"Locked up"

When I was 7 years old I watched my older brother get shot by a man hidden behind a black hood. I watched him take his last breaths in my arms, I knew his choice of career would get him in trouble but no one would ever have the guts to shoot him because of what kind of person he really was behind all the drug dealing stratics. My brother was kind, selfless and cared about as much as a little insect. He would take me to my ballet classes and watch me get better and cheer me on and even get me ice cream afterwards. He was like a third parent because my parents were always away on business trips. He was my best friend when no one wanted to hang out with me after school.

He was my everything.

And after his death my parents were too afraid of what would happen to their careers if it came out that their daughter had gone completely mad. But they never owned up to what they did instead..
"She's away to visit some family in australia", "She's away at boarding school to take some time from this city", " She needs time to mourn her brother in peace".. That is just a few of the lies people have heard what happened to Clifford Rethwoods 7 year old daughter Remy Rethwood.
But the real reason why I wasn't in the picture anymore is that I got sent away to live with my uncle Benjamin a few hours away. He became my guardian. He gave up his freedom to watch a girl who had suicide in the back of her mind, a girl who couldn't sleep because the moment she closed her eyes she sees her brother get murdered on a loop. A girl who grew up learning the only
answer to every problem is a sip from the glass and a little bag with white powder in it.

For five years I've been in and out of doctors appointments trying to figure out what was really causing the nightmares, the day terrors and the non stop illusions of someone trying to come after me. But every doctor has said the exact same thing..

"It's all in her head."

And we left with yet another bottle of pills like I was some kind of lunatic in danger to others.

There was a time I tried the only thing my mind had been telling me for almost 6 years.. suicide. But my uncle made it in time I took my last breath.

And that lead me to a place called The Lighthouse. My uncle got so upset that he couldn't look after me the way he had been told so he punished himself by sending me away for other people to take care of me instead.
When I first got there it reminded me of a prison, high fences, cameras everywhere and automatic locks on every door to the rooms. Every time I had to go to the bathroom or go to the everyday room I had to ask one of the staff.
I was put in the lunatics section with people who seriously had lost their minds. Kids who were beaten by their boyfriends, parents or just in general. Kids who were addicted to drugs or had stolen stuff. And then there was me.. I wasn't addicted to drugs, I wasn't beaten by anyone. It almost felt like a juvie.

Every time I entered a room everyone went silent and just stared at me like I was some kind of freak, but I was used to it. The staring was active in school too.
So I just ignored them all and sat down by an empty table and rolled my thumbs like I always did.
But this time was different, I could feel someone sitting down at the same table and did nothing but look at me. I tried to ignore the person and just keep rolling my thumbs in a different direction.

"Why do you look so familiar?", the person said.
iI looked up and gave the person a dead look.
It was a guy with tanned skin and dark hair, black almost and grayish hair.
I looked down again and started to roll my thumbs again.
"Are you just going to ignore me? I see", he said but he still stayed and kept staring at me.
after a few minutes I snapped.
"Why are you staring at me!? Do I have something on my face!?", I yelled.
"No you just look really familiar that's all", he said looking kinda worried.
"What's your name?", he asked.
"That is none of your fucking business.. now leave me the fuck alone!"
"Well my name is Jesse, Jesse Stevens. Nice to meet you.", he said like he didn't care that I was absolutely not giving a shit he was talking to me.
"If I tell you my name will you leave me alone?", I asked kinda nicely.
"Maybe, If I feel like it", he said with a smirk on his face.
I slowly took a breath and stopped rolling with thumbs.