Short Stories

Why?

The altar was lit brightly with the soft glow of the many candles that adorned the scene.

It couldn't have been more ironic.

I could almost feel the eyes of the man on the cross glaring down at me from where it hung above the priests head.

It was almost as though it could read the thoughts swimming around my head.

The people that filled the many pews responded to the priests words as if their lives depended on it, as did I.

The soft glow of the candles became my point of focus as I avoided the eyes of many of my fellow church goers.

Nobody knew, I repeated in my head.

Stop acting suspicious, you'll only draw attention to yourself.

Caught up in my thoughts I blocked out the surrounding world.

When the priest said sit, I sat.

When the priest said stand, I continued sitting.

When my brother nudged me to stand up, I continued sitting.

When mass ended and the pews began to clear one by one, the soft murmur of the people leaving the church was almost non existent as I continued to sit.

But the deafening silence of the church eventually dragged me from the thoughts that swam around my head like a school of fish being chased by the hook of a fisherman's rod.

As I walked down the thin walkway leading to the double doors I heard a soft voice behind me.

"You seemed quite in thought back there, whatever has plagued your thoughts know that God will always be with you"

I nodded my head as a sign of thanks before pushing open the double doors and letting the fresh air hit my face.

As soon as the cool air hit my face it was as if any thoughts I had previously struggled with were dragged away upon the back of an invisible force and left me with a warm air of comfort.

But as soon as they had left the quicker they had returned.

Why couldn't I have been like my brother?

His faith in God had guided him this far in life, why couldn't it do the same for me.

Closing my eyes I swallowed guiltily before walking down the street to the place I called home.

The house I lived in wasn't as big as it's surrounding buildings but that didn't make it any less in my eyes.

The bright white paint that covered the surrounding walls was weathered slightly in paces making the house look slightly grungy but the bright flowers that surround the small bungalow made up for the small imperfections.

The ground made a soft crunching noise as the soles of her shoes hit the stone pathway leading up to the brown oak door with the numbed 5 lightly engraved into its surface.

I opened the doors slowly as the slight smell of chicken hit my nose, mum must've already started cooking the roast for today's dinner.

The only noise inside the house was the soft murmur of the TV as I slowly closed the front door hoping nobody would hear me.

Just as the door closed shut my mother's voice rang from the kitchen.

"Honey?"

My pulse increased slightly as the only noise in the house became the deafening sound of my own heart beat.

"Yes Mother?"

I called as I made my way into the kitchen.

"It was a beautiful mass, wouldn't you agree honey?"

My mother's mouth turned upwards, the soft look in her eyes making the thoughts inside my head scream.

'Look at her, you can't tell her. It'll break her heart'

'Quick, say something. Anything!'

"Mom, We need to talk"

'No, not that!'

My mother's smile slowly dropped into a frown as she looked at my face.

The sweat slowly started to drip down the front of my face as I stumbled over my words.

"M-Mo-"

"Honey, should I get your father?"

"No, mo-"

"Christian! Christian get in here!"

My heart best spiked as I heard the thud of boots coming from the sitting room.

"Yes darling?"

My father was a tall man reaching almost 6'4 as he towered over my mother's petite 5'9 frame.

The two of them stood there looking at me expectantly.

My mother's blue eyes bright as she looked at me, while my father's dark brown ones bore into my head as I stated at the ground.

"Well? Come on Esther, spit it out"

"Father, I,I- I can't continue to pretend"

My father's eyes widened slightly as he looked at me.

"Pretend? Esther, what do you mean by 'pretend?'"

My eyes glazed over as I said the words I'd learn to regret.

"I can't continue to pretend I believe in something I don't"

My father's stare hardened as he stayed quiet.

The room began to spin as I said the next few words, the walls began to close in and the smell of chicken became overpowering as I continued.

"I can't attend church when there is not a doubt within my mind that God does not exist. I will respec-"

As soon as the words left my mouth my father's hand hit the table with a force that almost brought it to its knees.

"How dare you say that within these walls, within my walls"

He seethed. His face red as his hand lay on the table.

My mother stood beside my father.

Her hand loosely gripping his sweater as she smothered her face into his back. All I could hear were her cries muffled by the fabric of my father's sweater.

"Where did we go wrong?"

I could barely make out the words as my mother brought her face up from my father's shoulder. Her tear stained face haunting my mind.

"It's all this new technology isn't it? You've been brain washed?"

Her eyes went from distraught to hopeful as she convinced herself that her younger daughter had simply been poisoned by the generations technology.

"Your brother never had these problems, it must be th-those gadgets your always using"

While my mother slowly grasped at straws my father stayed quiet.

That's when I heard it.

"Get out of my house"

The words were barely whispered while my father's eyes continued to stare at the floor unyielding.

"No I-"

My voice cracked as I attempted to keep tears that threatened to spill over at bay.

"I will not have the devils child inside my house"

My mother croaked as she looked at my father's back.

"Darling I think we sh-"

Her attempt at consoling my father went poorly as he snarled once again.

"Get out of my house or so help me god"