Untitled.

Epitaph 1

I could clearly see you, lying on messed up bed cover. There were only Christmas tree-lights as the headboard of your bed. Twinkling here and there. I was still curious tho, with those small white things lying around you. There was almost no sound, but maybe if fears could sound, that would be the loudest one soaring inside this squared room.

I saw that you were also pretty messed up. With your favorite pink t-shirt that wasn't in the right place, you looked so soft, although I could also see your hardened nipples.

I wish I was there when you wake up, to remind you to cover up those hickeys that he had marked you with.

To remind you about those cigarettes butts and empty bottles of some beverages that I am 100% sure you knew nothing about. I bet you cannot even spell its name.

But I wish you were still there. I wanted to tell you a story about how love could hurt you this bad and why.

You know that you could blame those stupid cupids in diapers flying around with arrows? I wish one of them did not shoot you one with one of his arrows. So you should not have to get hurt. Otherwise, you could still pick to fall in love. But it is going to hurt you so much too, in the end. Eventually.

Wake up.

Come laugh at love with me, like we used to.

Wake up.

Why you had so much tears in your peaceful rest? What makes you so sad?

Wake up.

Now he is full of regret, would you consider to make peace with him?

Wake up.

I should have warned you about that void emptiness inside your heart that is actually only in your mind.

I should have told you earlier. About everything.

Or, I should have been there with you when you need company.

At least I knew that you already find peace now above. I could see it through your face.

So peaceful, so calm.

—S, March 20th, 2018