Fanboys

Standing in Aisle 9 of Target, Ryan's eyes sweep the shelves at all his available options.

Classic. Golden. Double Stuf.

It's March, so of course they wouldn't have the Halloween Oreos. His attention lands on something similar and picks up a blue and purple package.

"Peeps Oreos." He says it like someone shoved a cup of sugar into his mouth. That is, after all, what it feels like when he eats a Peep. One marshmallow chick is all he can stomach at a time. Anything over that feels like an instant case of diabetes.

Ryan sets down the springtime offering and grabs a package of the Classics instead. One can never go wrong with those. He sets the cookies into his red handbasket, next to a carton of 2% reduced fat milk. Looking at his items, he shakes his head.

"I am such a loser."

He remembers that the only reason he went on this Target run is his recent addiction to Love, Simon. In the movie, Halloween Oreos form one of many connections between Simon and his love interest, Blue. Perhaps it was Ryan's dry spell with guys that influenced his actions, but engorging in chocolate and cream cookies just felt like the right thing to do.

He walks out of Aisle 9 and towards the registers, traveling quickly. His eyes and feet are set in a straight line, trying not to fall into the trap of buying more than he came for. His attempt is successful, making it to the checkout lanes without additional pick-ups, although he's quickly met by a different problem.

"I'm sorry," an employee says. "All of our self-checkout lanes are down right now."

Ryan nods his head at the woman in red, disappointed. The self-checkout lanes are his go-to when it comes to shopping since they provide him the comfort of not having to talk to anyone. Dismissing this as the reason he's still single, he looks towards the available checkout lanes and is greeted once again by defeat.

All the lines are long and filled with carts that look like they came from the show Supermarket Sweep. He heads to the shortest of the long lines and stands behind a man who must be hosting a backyard barbecue by the looks of his packed cart. Settling in for a long wait, Ryan brings out his phone and starts scrolling through Instagram.

He's double-tapping on a Corgi for the third time when a voice catches his attention.

"Aww, I love Bam!"

Realizing the voice is coming from behind him, Ryan turns around to find a guy his age staring at him. Ryan can only blink two times in response, a telltale sign given off every time he was attracted to someone.

The guy smiles, his eyes drifting down to Ryan's phone.

"I follow Bam the Corgi, too." Not getting a response from Ryan other than a blank stare, the guy coughs. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to look at your phone. I just can spot that cute little butt from anywhere."

Ryan couldn't be sure, but his eyes felt like they were the size of dinner plates.

"Bam's butt! I meant the cute Corgi butt." The guy raises a hand to his forehead, blushing. "Ahh, I'm sorry! I'm awkward. I'll shut up now."

"No, no. You're fine," Ryan finally manages to get out. Part of him panics that he used the words "you're fine," and if the guy read anything into that. "I just wasn't expecting anyone to be talking to me."

The guy laughs. "That's the power of the Corgi, I guess. They bring people together." He pauses. "Speaking of which, I'm Marcus."

"Oh, hello." Ryan laughs nervously in return, looking back down at his phone. From the corner of his eye, he can tell Marcus is looking at his phone again, too.