Twisted

to my classmates

Hello everyone. It's me. I'm full of pain, but I'm sure you see that on my face every day. I remember when we were made to take a class survey to see the positive traits of ourselves and what our classmates think of us. My top traits chosen were "honorable, smart, and quiet." Let me be the first to tell you. Quiet people have their own life stories. We are smart because we talk to ourselves in our heads. For me, I am quite lonesome, and I like to entertain myself. No one else cares to.

When you look in my eyes, I know you don't see the real me. You see the Ashley stricken with anxiety, only I act calm because I want to be accepted and fit in. I don't cry often, but when I do, I feel I can write a million words just about my tears and how they continuously fall 'cause you don't notice them pouring from my eye sockets. Do I look that tough when I'm secretly dying inside?

People should be kind to one another. We should have respect for each other. Our own loved ones want to torture us with their piercing words and then wonder why we're so broken and weak. We all do damage in some way, shape, or form. That's why I'm writing this to you, my fellow classmates. 

I want you guys and girls to make a change. Stop calling people names and spreading hate. Stop damaging people's self-image, saying they're overweight when they've been starving themselves just so they can lose that weight. Quit being childish and saying foolish things just to fit in. No one is perfect; I don't see what there's to get.

Your parents got divorced? Well, my dad is dead. I wish we can all drop it all and just be friends. We're all vulnerable. We've all been hurt. You don't deserve to go through this alone.

I wish we could all hug it out, but it's not so simple. Conversations like these make me feel as if I'm a torn crashing symbol. You people probably still won't understand after what I'm about to do, but that's okay because I have nothing to lose.

I love you.