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LET ME LOVE YOU LIKE A WILD NIGHT LET ME SHOW YOU A WILD RIDE LET ME FEEL YOU LET ME TOUCH YOU FRANK, I LOVE YOU _______________________
Just as it had been with the wedding, Alice finds herself facing countless opinions from people she has met only once or twice, people who think that their lives will turn upside down if she makes a wrong decision, and that it is their duty to bring her to the right path, though, when the hassle is over, Alice doubts she would find a single one of them by her side.
And thus, she persuades Frank to take a day off from his Auror duty one day, and they sit together on the low bench that stands rickety on the yard in front of their house, overlooking the tall wall that protects their home, along with the various protective charms that have been applied around them. They sit quietly, fingers linked together where their wedding rings touch with a soft clink every time they make a small movement. The rustle of leaves is the only sound that penetrates the air, occasionally interrupted by their heartbeats that seem to ring loudly in Alice's ears.
The idea of having a child has been on her mind for a long time, perhaps since the very day their relationship has blossomed into something more serious than teenage romance. She adored picturing herself and Frank together, with a baby squirming in her arms, looking half like her and half like Frank. Perhaps it would have blonde hair like hers and a stubby nose like his, or maybe it would inherit Frank's course brown hair and her pale skin. Whatever their child looked like, Alice always found an odd comfort in imagining them as a family, whole and happy and perfectly beautiful.
But with the recent events going on, she finds it hard to do so. She finds her happy thoughts and imaginations being punctured by the fights and battles and kidnaps going on everyday, she is unable to focus on any happy memory of her school days, of her childhood, of all her times spent with Frank, as they all seem to be clouded over by the doom that is hanging over them. Whenever she tries to picture a child, she no longer sees a small, giggly baby looking up at her or at Frank, but she sees a child with eyes overflowing with terrified tears, small fingers clutching at her dress and with no sign of joy in its eyes.
And she doesn't like these thoughts at all.
Alice pulls her fingers gently from Frank's hands and reaches into her pocket to extract a chocolate bar, looking as nonchalant as though her mind isn't racing at a million miles an hour. She hears her husband give a soft chuckle beside her, fully used to, and amused by, her habit of stress eating.
The sound of the wrapper being ripped open breaks the silence momentarily, before it returns again. Frank sighs softly, but no one says a word.
It has almost become a tradition between the couple, ever since they have been together. Whenever they need to carry out a serious discussion or are in disagreement over something, rather than fighting or talking, they simply sit silently, oftentimes hands linked together. The silence between them serves to clear up their minds so that extreme emotions don't intrude in any decision making. And Alice has to admit it has served them quite well.
Frank is the one to break the silence this time.
"So, if the baby is a girl –"
"Frank!" she chides, smacking him lightly on the arm, though a bubble of laughter erupts from within her, instantly easing the tension between them. He raises his hands defensively.
"Sorry," he smiles, "but you've always been craving for a child. So I don't see why we shouldn't have one."
"But the war?" she mutters. Frustration begins to build up inside her as she feels the cycle repeating – the same conversation, over and over again, never reaching a conclusion.
Well, it will. She thinks firmly to herself. I won't leave this bench until we've come to decision today.
"Alice, it's not like we will leave the child in the middle of a battlefield –" she winces. Frank's bluntness, though she admires at times, can get quite hurtful. "We'll take a month off from work. And Molly has already agreed to babysit when needed. It's going to be fine."
She presses her lips, sucking lightly on the inside of her cheek. Does she really want to bring a child to life during this period of tremendous unrest? She tries to convince herself that they aren't the only ones planning to have a family now – Molly herself has five beautiful boys, and she trusts her enough to leave her child with her when duty calls.
"We will strengthen the defensive charms on our house –" Frank continues to speak, his voice light and reassuring. Alice takes small, tentative bites on her chocolate. Her eyes begin to gloss over. Never has she imagined that her life would come down to this – constant fear and paranoia becoming a common thing in their life; having to think a hundred times in order to come to a decision that should be easy to make; living in a house surrounded by numerous protective charms that make her feel like she is locked in a prison, and perhaps she really is, for she doesn't remember the last time she has ventured outside just for recreation, the last time she has gone on a date with Frank, the last time they have walked together around the lake just a few miles from their house.
But then her mind conjures up the picture of a child again, giggling in her arms, and this time, it dares to venture further into the future. She pictures her baby growing up, turning eleven, starting Hogwarts; she pictures herself returning home from the Ministry and checking for any letters from Hogwarts, she pictures herself going to shops with Frank to buy clothes, toys and gifts; and suddenly she finds a smile forming on her lips, the tears finally flow down her cheeks, but she carefully wipes them away before turning to face her husband.
She laughs softly when she finds him still talking, and takes his hands in hers. "Okay," she breathes, a free flutter growing in her heart when she realises that the decision is made, that there is no going back, not anymore. "We'll have a child."
Frank looks surprised at her abrupt announcement, but the impression passes quickly and he smiles. He leans forward to press his lips gently over her forehead. "Can I have one of your chocolates now?"
She nods and drops the now empty wrapper in his hands, and Frank rolls his eyes at the antic that she definitely isn't doing for the first time. He brings a hand below her knees and the other behind her back, and picks her small body up, before carrying her, bridal style, into the house.
"You know, now that you're becoming a mother, you should stop being a child."
"Why can't I be both?"
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