Contradiction

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     The last day with your lover is always the weirdest. You're so full of love and light from being with them all day, yet the parting is, to quote Shakespeare, such sweet sorrow. That night you sleep blissfully, as seeing your love often leaves you blissful. The day after is much, much harder.

     The contradiction felt throughout that day and that night is amazing. You're so full of love, love and light and you're weightless. You feel beautiful. But they're leaving. The thought of it puts tears in your eyes. It's a painful thought.

     You wonder, of course, when the next time they kiss you will be, the next hug, the next word, the next moan that escapes from their lips when in the grips of passion. All of this is uncertain in the future, though it may have been plentiful in the past.

     I'll go on. That night, though wrapped in sorrow, the bright light of the love encases you and you fall asleep easily. From there, it goes one of two ways.

     The first path your dreams may follow is the soft one, the one of love and bliss. Your lover is there, and he's with you always, not leaving or being taken away. Just there. They're only purpose is to love you.

     The second is a dark, harsh one. Your lover is gone, you do not know when they will come back or if they ever will. There's something gone, missing from your life. You could not even remember what is lacking. There are many nightmarish things that can happen. You lover may even die in this dream.

     Either way, you wake up. From the first dream, you wake up happily and remember that it isn't reality, and thus the dream was a curse. The second dream did not lie to you, and you may be relieved to find your lover alive, but they are not with you, and thus the nightmare is also a curse. Either path ends in tears.

     Life continues in a strangely normal way from then on, but a piece of you is missing. A piece that you gave to someone else, long ago. It's bittersweet. Cruel and blissful. A day long, which can be so, so short.

     A contradiction, if you will.

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