A tipsy Jay strolled down the street. Who said drinking on a weekday was wrong? Whoever it was, they were lame and dumb. Why else would Tuesday rhyme with Tequila?
Jay whistled a little tune, picturing his soft bed and all the good-looking people he'd met last Saturday. It was his policy to sleep alone during weekdays... but could he hold off until then?
A sloppy wet sound came from the alley as he passed. Ah, he loved that sound. Wait... why was it coming from an alley?
His whistling trailed off as he tried seeing through the dark. Out of the shadows came a man. Jay backed up as the figure came into the bluish light from the street lamp. The man wiped the back of his hand across his mouth as he tossed something back into the alley that looked... like an arm?
Jay could finally see through the dark now. Against the alley wall was a bloody, dismembered corpse.
Weak-kneed, Jay dropped to the ground, his now completely sobered up ass hitting the concrete with a thud. He clumsily scrambled back.
He'd run into a ghoul.
The ghoul took his bloody fingertips and picked something pink out of his teeth. He didn't seem pleased with whomever he'd just eaten.
As Jay stared, life flashing before his eyes, the ghoul wiped the rest of the flesh and most of the blood from his lips. "Don't worry," he said in monotone. "I only eat people who approach me first."
"A-a...pproach?" Jay swallowed. "I stumbled upon you. So... you're saying...?"
"I'm not interested in eating you."
"W-what about that?" Jay pointed a shaky finger towards the lifeless body.
The man looked at it expressionlessly. "The ones that approach me never taste good."
"Oh," Jay squeaked. "Are you really not going to eat me? Because if you are, could you at least let me have sex one last time?"
The ghoul stared. "What?"
"You know. Partying hard before you die."
"...I'm not going to eat you."
"Are you sure? I think I'd be pretty tasty."
The ghoul rolled his eyes. And Jay leapt to his feet as he reached a crazy realization. "Wait! You're my new neighbor!"
"Shh!" The man threw his bloody fingers over Jay's mouth.
Ew, ewwwww. Jay gagged.
"The Doves will be here soon. If you out me, I will eat you."
Jay nodded. The guy removed his hands and glanced around. "Let's go quickly."
Jay took one last look at the unfortunate victim before following the ghoul in the direction of their apartment complex.
Jay sat on the sofa, eyes scanning the place identical to his. Excluding the fact that it was undecorated and boring af.
The man came down the hallway with a clean glowing face, hair finger-combed back and glistening with moisture.
Yeah, this was the guy Jay was familiar with. The guy who'd moved in next door who was kinda hot in a mature way. Though the expressiveness that his neighbor had originally had wasn't present now.
"Um... Elias, was it?"
"Yeah... So uh, how long have you been a ghoul?"
Elias looked at him. "...My whole life."
Oh right. With the blood gone, the feature that Jay had found most interesting was visible. He wanted to lick the mole, but ugh, it'd been covered in blood earlier and this was no time to be horny, but how would doing it with a ghoul feel?
"Since I was young, I never found the taste of humans to be any good." Elias stared at the floor.
"Have you tried eating human food?"
"Of course. It's disgusting. Sandwiches taste like wet sponges left out for months. Hamburgers taste like an athlete's sweaty socks. The way vegetables feel on my tongue is like―"
"I get it."
Elias remained deadpan as he continued, "I took a long break from eating until I nearly went crazy from hunger. Even if it tastes bad, I have to survive." He looked at Jay again. "After you moved in, I didn't want to seem suspicious, so I took another break." Gazing into the distance, he muttered, "Hunger is the enemy and sometimes the enemy wins. Or... maybe I'm the enemy to my hunger."
Jay stared in awe. For someone so expressionless, he was apparently a really emotionally deep person. "Dude, what?"
They made eye contact.
"I don't really get it but do you feel bad for eating people or just bad that you have to eat gross tasting shit?"
"Both. Maybe things would be different if I'd grown up thinking they taste good. I wouldn't have this type of attitude. And I could eat like a normal person."
"Then, I know how to fix your problem."
"That's impossible. There's no way to fix―"
"Don't eat all of me, because I have shit to do, but I'm pretty sure I taste good."
"Is it just me or is that disgust I detect in your face? Speaking of, not all ghouls are expressionless, right? That dude that looks like Einstein never said they were."
"No, it's just me."
"I was dropped on my head as a baby."
"Wow, that sucks, man."
"It might also be the cause of my strange taste buds."
"Wow, that sucks," Jay repeated in a tone he didn't mean to sound insincere. "Do you hate your mom for that?"
"I feel like we're getting off topic."
"Oh right. Yeah, just like," Jay rolled up his sleeve and held out his arm, "take a bite." And then they could have rough smex and... who cared what happened after that. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a once in a lifetime experience and he could finally lick that mole―oh damn he was getting―
Elias made an expression Jay could barely detect something negative in. "You're the one who looks like you want to bite me."
"I do," Jay blurted. "Let's bite each other. Bite me first."
Elias covered his mouth and blushed. "What's this feeling? I feel like I could actually eat you." He swallowed.
Jay pulled his collar down over his shoulder. "Do it."
"I... I've never eaten a guy before."
"Maybe that's your problem."
"No... I think... I think you're special."
Jay looked at him. "Okay, so we're on the same page then, right? I'm interpreting this correctly, right?" He gestured between them. "Your bedroom would be a better place for this, right?"
Elias swallowed again. "Sure..."
"Great!" Jay said, standing up and taking a wad of colorful wrappers out of his pocket. "I've got plenty of rubbers. You grab some towels because this is gonna be messy."
Elias stood up. "I can't believe I'm doing this with my neighbor. And with guy. And by request."
"Me either!" Jay exclaimed, making his way to the bedroom. "This is great!"