Begin Again // Calum Hood

Chapter 17.

I rubbed Calum's arm with one hand and twirled the curly tips of his hair with my other hand. Our lips were still locked together and the rest of the world didn't matter. I stumbled backward to fall on to his bed, making him topple on top of me. He awkwardly giggled with that pure happiness smile again. I pulled on the bottom seam of his shirt.

"Hey, I want this gone." I quickly whispered. He followed my command and tossed his shirt across the room. "Shit." I mumbled as I ran my hands down his toned abs.

"I don't want this either." He spoke and pulled my shirt up over my head. "Do you want to keep going?" His mouth formed a serious, straight line and his breath started to get heavier.

"I sure as hell don't want to stop." I grabbed his hands and put them on my bare waist.

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"So, uh, Calum? What does this make us?" I slightly giggled as I got out of his bed to gather my clothes that were carelessly thrown all over his floor.

"Roommates that like to have good sex?" He laughed with his hands folded behind his head and the blanket covering his lower half.

"No I mean are we friends with benefits? Or? I'm not sure." I pulled my jeans up.

"Does it count as friends with benefits if there's a boyfriend involved?" He cocked his eyebrow.

"Please don't bring up Michael. I'm literally the worst person in the entire world." I felt a huge knot form in my throat at the mention of his name. I felt like the worst person ever. I completely lied to him. This was never supposed to happen. Yet here I am, getting redressed after having sex with my roommate.

"So are we considered fuck buddies?" He scratched his shoulder. "My back really hurts. Did you leave scratches? I feel like you left scratches." I took a few steps toward him.

"Sit up." He obeyed. "Turn a bit." His tan back was riddled with long red streaks. "Oh fuck! Calum I'm sorry." I traced down the marks. He tensed up.

"Hurts like hell." He turned back around.

"No one finds out about this, alright? No one. Not Ashton, not Luke, none of your friends, got it?" He nodded. "This was merely to get the sexual tension out of the air that we both knew was there."

"So we can't do this again?" He asked.

"No." I said, sternly.

"Really? Never? We both know you liked it." He deviously grinned. "My back is well enough proof."

"First of all, keep your back covered until those are gone, second of all, how I feel about what we did has nothing to do with if we will do it again."

"What if we're friends with benefits? That would be great."

"That could never work." I shrugged.

"Hear me out, if you're stressed out from school or work, a quick fuck is known to relieve stress. You won't have to call Michael over, you can just walk across the living room. Also, if you get frustrated with something Michael said or did," He raised his eyebrows. "And, if you just randomly want to, it's easy access." He paused. He brought his mouth to my ear. "Michael would never have to know. He doesn't need to know. If there's no feelings attached, how is it cheating?" He softly whispered. I pondered the thought. He looked into my eyes and rubbed my back with his hand.

"Calum, this can only happen under these rules," He smiled a huge, cheesy smile and bobbed his head. "We have to have some sort of code word or phrase so if people are over we can get rid of them. Also, absolutely NO mention while Michael is here. No exceptions. And, no kissing. Kissing is an affectionate thing. After all, there are no feelings involved." I sighed. I didn't mind the idea of doing this with Calum, but it hurt my heart at the thought of what Michael would say.

"I promise, I'll follow all the rules." He nodded. "So what is our code thing?" We sat for a second. "How about 'are you hungry'?"

"Yeah sure." I shrugged. I looked down at his blanket. Calum could apparently see that I wasn't completely confident about the setup.

"Hey, it's okay. It's not cheating. Cheating involves feelings. This is just meaningless fucking. Michael doesn't have to know." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I promise Amber. It's alright. This is a good thing. You'll see soon." He sincerely stared into my eyes and I avoided his gaze. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "It's fine. Can I kiss your cheek? No feelings attached, you just look like you need it." He bit the inside of his cheek. I nodded and felt my eyes actually well up with tears. My insides were completely torn. I wanted to make Calum happy but yet I wanted to be a good girlfriend. His gentle warm lips pressed against my cheek, then removed themselves to leave an absence of heat in their place. I sat silently with a slight pout on my face. I felt the tears start to fall. I threw my arms around Calum's bare torso and nuzzled my head into his collarbone.

"I'm the biggest bitch in the entire world. The entire fucking world, Calum." He rubbed his hands up and down my back.

"No you're not. You're just kind of emotional right now." He put his head into my shoulder. He turned his head so his mouth was attached to my neck. I pulled the hug apart.

"I'm a fucking mess." I laughed at myself. "I must be getting my period soon or something." He breathed out a quiet laugh.

"Do you want to be alone?"

"Yeah." I sniffed. "Just want to think is all." He kept the blanket wrapped around his waist and reached to the foot of his bed to get his underwear. He slid them on under the sheets, stood up, patted my shoulder, and walked out of his room. My thoughts flew all over my mind as I laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

This agreement terrified me because I knew how Calum felt about me, but I wasn't sure about how I felt about him.

I stayed in his room all night, and actually ending up falling asleep cradled by his warm blanket and the leftover scent of his cologne.

OH HEY HI

yeah this update was kind of all over the place yeah

friends with benefits nothing could go wrong yeah?????

WARNING CALUM IS A LITTLE SKETCHY LMAO

prepare your camber ship to sail kids