The Last Goodbye || Mark Tuan x Reader

2

"L-leave me alone!" (y/n) screams,trying to escape from the hug.

She tried,but she was far from leaving the boys' arms. She was weak,not only physically,but mentally too,but that's another story for another time.

"Leave m-me!" the girl screamed once again.

"(y/n),wake up!" her brother screamed,but in a soft way.

(y/n) had the habit to sleep with the door open. For different reasons,but mainly because her mother and Yugyeom were concerned about her doing something stupid things,and because of her nightmares. She always had those,no matter how many therapy or pills (y/n) would take,she was still afraid to go to sleep at night.

"Yugyeom!" the girl yelled,but immediately calmed down when she felt her brothers' arms around her tiny body.

(y/n)'s tears won't stop from falling,making Yugyeom's t-shirt wet. He didn't mind,obviously. He is very concerned about his sisters' mental health,he always tries to cheer her up,even if he knew that (y/n) will never really recover completely.

"I'm here." Yugyeom rubs his sisters' back,trying to calm her down.

(y/n) sighed,and opened the drawer besides her bed,and got a small orange recipient,in which there some pills. She took two of them almost immediately,then she looked at Yugyeom.

"I'm sorry I woke you up.." She says,looking at the watch that was on her night stand that said it was 3am.

"It's okay..do you want me to stay with you?" he looked at (y/n) with a sad expression,and the girl started feeling sad too.

She always thought that she was the one who makes the people around her sad. By not being good enough,or just by being herself. (y/n) never had any good friends to tell her the opposite.

"No,go to sleep. The pills will calm me down." (y/n) smiled at Yugyeom,to assure him that she would be fine.

After Yugyeom left the room,she got some clean clothes,deciding to take a shower. It was worthless to sleep again,she would have nightmares again anyways.

She filled the bath tub with hot water,and after that she looked at her body in the mirror. (y/n) was disgusted of how she looked. She was way too skinny,but not in an estetic way,in a bad way.

"Your mother and brother don't even love you,you are worthless. You tried to kill yourself,who could possibly love you? Jaebum can't wait to get rid of you." (y/n) says to herself,not very loud. The last thing she wants is Yugyeom to hear her.

She got in the bath tub,but not before taking a small blade from the cupboard. She locked the door,she didn't want someone to come in in an unwanted time.

(y/n) looked at her wrists,almost tearing up.
Her wrists are full of scars,some of them new,others old. She began harming herself ever since that disturbing night 3 years ago. She was looking at this habit as a punishment,whenever something happened,even if most of the times she didn't have any reason to cut. Her wrists weren't the only body part where she cuts. Her thights were also full of scars.

She got the blade and began making small lines on her wrist. Until her wrist was almost full of cuts. This time she was punishing herself for being a failure to her family.

But she actually wasn't. Her family loved her very much,Jaebum did too. Not in a romantic way,but he cared about her patient. (y/n) had way too many bad thoughts for her to see all of the love the people around her are trying to give.

After about an hour,she finished the bath. She got dressed and left the bathroom,not before taking the blade and rolling it in paper,intentioning to throw it in a garbage can around the high school. She knew that Yugyeom and her mother would see it of she threw it at home.

Then,she got in her bed,falling asleep almost immediately,thing that is very surprising for her.

-

"How many times have I told you to stop smoking,Mark?" the boys' father said.

Even if he had a very bad illness,this still couldn't stop him from smoking. He was feeling good while doing that,smoking being the only thing that makes him a least a little bit happy,or makes him feel better. His father always told him to stop,his heart hurts when he sees his son smoking,knowing the bad state he is in.

"Dad,please don't start again on that." Mark was tired of how many times his parent told him to stop.

"You have to understand,son. I know it's really hard for you,especially after your mother left just to earn money for us. But you have to be strong,Mark." his dad rubbed Mark's back.

"Dad,please..calm down." the boy said,almost on the verge of tears.

"How could I calm down? This isn't hurting only you,but the people around you too. Please,Mark..stop smoking. It's for your own good." his dad looked a little bit angry,but it's understanding looking at the situation.

"Dad-" Mark left out a sigh,before taking a seat besides his father. " I just can't. They are one of the little things that I have left that make me feel something. I feel numb,and trust me,you couldn't understand.I will try not to smoke when you are around,I promise." Mark said and after that his father took the packet of cigarettes from the table,throwing them immediately in the trash can.

"Mark,this isn't about what I think or how I see you. This is about your body,it's already damaged,why would you make your situation worse that it already is?" when Mark noticed that his father was on the verge of tears,he left the house,not knowing where he would go.

He decided to go for a walk,to clear his mind a little bit. He knew that cigarettes are bad for him,but he couldn't help it. What was he suppose to do? He had nothing left. His illness was slowly getting over him,and there wasn't that much to do. Mark knew that he would die sooner or later,because his parents and doctor tried to avoid telling him that. That's why his doctor sent him to Jaebum,maybe he could help Mark get the sad news easier. Even if,the boy already knew,he was smart enough to figure it out himself.

His mind was a mess,the little walk he took didn't help at all. He didn't have any cigarettes left,his father threw them earlier. He took a seat on a bench of a small park around his house. Lucky for him,the bench wasn't that close to the center,it was placed in a zone that a very small amount of people would stay or walk by it.

He finally let his tears come out,revealing his true self he was trying so hard to hide.