My love for you (poem)

Author's note

So hello my waffles!!! Soooo.....

This poem is obviously about someone I like/liked. I wrote it when I had a crush on a guy in my school. I heard he liked me too but I don't know. I often caught him looking at me and when I looked back he hurried to look away which I found quite cute or adorable. As it is now I don't know if I like him or if he likes me. I don't know if I can say that I don't feel a thing. But he was only a chrush anyway. I have only once in my life been hopelessly and uncondictionally in love. And I guess I'll tell you about it.

I was in a camp and that is when I saw him. He was smiling and laughing. I kept looking out of the window and I guess you could say it was love at first sight. He was sitting on a trapolin surrounded by friends. I went over to them and joined their talk. He accepted me, even though he was popular he wasn't scared to be my friend. He was one of the kindest persons I had ever met and he was really christian which was a plus for me, he was kind, loving and everything I could ever want. He was older than me by three years but he acted my age. The camp sadly at that point ended after a short week but we kept texting. We almost texted everyday in the first year. The second year we didn't text as much but still sometimes. In those two year we only met around five times or more. I had learned that you have a chrush on someone for maximum a year or else it is love and then I realised I was in love. The thrid year of our friendship and my love was closing in or rather it had been two and a half year. I desided to tell him how I felt. I was so scared when I texted him. It was a long text. I sent it through skype. I was so scared that I logged out right away. I was shaking afterwards, and not until new years eve did I see his reply.

He had rejected me. He didn't feel the same way.

I told him I was fine with just being friends and he agreed but we ended up not texting as much until he almost became a stranger. I didn't break down. I told myslef that I was strong and I would get over him just like I had with all my other chrushes. It took more than half a year. Somewhere before I told him how I felt I began liking another guy too. He was quite the player or he flirted with almost every girl and I didn't actually want to like him. I began liking him after two year. (He lives in another city just like my crush so I hadn't seen him more than three times or so) he had no problem with kissing other girls and it bothered me since I hadn't had my first kiss yet. Once he kissed my twin sister And I couldn't take it at that point so I went to my room and cried. My best friend was there to comfort me though and I really love her for that. Well, I got over him quickly. After the rejection of my first love I didn't like anyone right away like I normally did. But then after a while I began having a crush on a guy (the one the poem is about) and he was really sweet but then last year in december my heart break came crushing at me. I was really heart broken and sad. I felt lonely and like a mistake. I though my mother regretted adopting me and that I would never find love. I was scared to tell the guy I liked that I likes him because I was scared of getting rejected again. So I never told him. I thought about starting cutting myself, and I even thought about suicide but I was scared to what I might loose. That is when I met my best friend online. She still writes with me today. She was my savoius, I guess I can call ot that. She talked me through everything and it really helped.

In the weekend I was at a festival and I met my first love again. We hung out and laughed. He had grown quite much and he had changed slightly. He was smoking now and rudely he kept blowing the smoke in my face even when I told him to stop. It's been five years since I met him for the first time and fell in love with him now.

I still havn't had my first kiss, my first boyfriend or my second love.

At age 15 you have many hopes for finding love. Everyone around you finds love except you. But now I try not to mind. None of my friends have a boyfriend, although one has a boy best friend and they seem to be a couple.

I'm still scared to tell anyone that I like them because I got rejected the first time I told anyone I liked them but it's okay I guess. My source of pain wasn't love though, everyone says love hurts, I did too, but that is not true.

Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts.

Everyone get these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.

One guy that I barely knew confessed to me but I had to reject him since we didn't know each other to well but we are still friend and we write sometimes. Another guy that I've for two year,s but I don't see often because he live in another city, likes me for sure but I only see him as a friend and nothing more. And then there was a guy who apparently liked me but I can't remember who he is. I've only heard his name so I might remember him if I see him.

Well, the little note actually became a whole chapter. Sorry guys!

Tell me what you think of the poem or my story for that matter.

Comment and vote please!