It's Not Easy (Zauren)

Chapter 31: One Step Closer

Message number fifteen: I love your smile

Lauren's POV

I really didn't want to but we had to go to LA the day after I was discharged. My body still hurt and ached but I sucked it up since Simon didn't want to hear it. I was in our backyard, by the pool just looking out into the distance. You could see the city and part of the Hollywood sign. It was even more beautiful at nightfall. Zayn of course ignored and avoided me. It's not my fault I can't remember anything about him or the other boys. The other boys are really funny though. They seem to be okay with the fact that I can't remember them. They're like the big brothers I've never had. They take care of me and defend me from paparazzi. I couldn't ask for any better people. They're idiots most of the time but they're cool.

"May I join you?" A voice asked. I turned around slightly in my wheelchair and I saw Zayn standing a few feet away.
"So now you want to talk to me?" I scoff.
"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. It just hurts that you can't remember me but I know it's not your fault so I've learned to deal with it." He explains as he pulls up a chair and sits next to me.
"I'm trying really hard, Zayn. Maybe if you tell me more about you, I can try to remember." I suggest.
"Uh, well, I have 3 sisters, I'm from England, I'm in a boyband." He says.
"How about you tell me things that I don't already know?" I joke.
"I don't know. I'm not good at this stuff." He shakes his head.
"Hey, it's fine. I'll figure something out." I say.
"Here's your rose for today." He smiles as he hands me a rose from behind his back.
"Thank you." I smile back as I smelled it.
"You have 11 in total, right?" He inquires.
"Including the one you gave me yesterday and the ones you gave me at the hospital plus the two before I got amnesia, yes. I have 11 beautiful roses." I explain.
"Good." He smiles again.

His smile is the most precious thing ever. It's so adorable and it's rare to see it. If you're the reason why he smiles then you must be really special. I guess I'm that special, huh? It makes me fall in love with him. Or fall in love all over again in my case right now.

"Why are you staring at me?" He chuckles.
"I love your smile." I answer.
"I know." He laughs wholeheartedly.
"What? How do you know?" I question.
"You told me." He responds.
"Yeah, I know I just told you." I reply confused.
"No, I mean you told me in a message. You made it for me for my Christmas present. You probably don't remember it but you did." He explains.
"You're right. I don't remember that." I say.
"It's fine. Hopefully you will soon." He encourages.
"I hope so too. I can't remember what's happened in the past few months and that sucks. Plus these casts are uncomfortable." I convey.
"I'd trade places with you in an instant. Not the amnesia part but the broken bones part. I hate seeing you like this." He says sadly.
"I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Not even my worst enemy." I cup his cheek so he's looking at me.
"What if I wanted it to be me instead of you? You're in this shit because of me! I can't stand seeing you in the casts and the wheelchair." He immediately stands up and brings his hands to his temple. If only I could stand up right now...
"Zayn, this is because of me. If I wasn't speeding then I wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't have gone to the hospital." I try to ease his shouting.
"You don't understand." He sighs and sits back down.
"Then help me understand." I grab hold of his hand with my good arm.
"I can't. Not when things just got good." He shakes his head.
"I won't force you. But please tell me in time." I say.
"In time. I promise." He smiles.

We spent the rest of the night just watching the sunset together. It was beautiful and we took so many pictures with it. Silly ones, cute ones, normal ones. It was a perfect night and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else. He wheeled me back into the house and we waited for the other boys to bring blankets and pillows down. Due to my condition, I had to sleep on the large couch. I don't mind at all because other people are looking for at least a pillow and I'm over here with this big mansion and a big bed. I would buy everybody who needs a bed, a bed.