Farm'n isn't for everybody, but I'm lucky enough to be born into it, and I have a sneak'n suspicion that folks'd be a lot happier if all of us could play in the dirt with God.
So this collection will be bout dirt and the stuff that happens cause of...
Last year, a neighbor of mine, Roy Johnson, was laid up after a nasty run-in with a fractious harrow.
After a few months of Winter convalescence, his Doc told him that he had porked up and needed to exercise so he could get back to farm'n. .. or he could just plan on fall'n over.
To help him, Doc gave him a piece of paper with reminders bout the exercises he needed each day.
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They all seemed kinda silly... as Roy said... if he was gonna sweat - might as well get somethin worthwhile outta it.
So, here's our version of how laid-up farmers get back into shape.
Instead of... 15 Jump'n Jacks... sweep the leaves off the roof of the hen house with a broom and no ladder.
15 Sit Ups... Clean the frogs outta the pond pump pipes by hand. (If you have done this job, you know how close to a situp it is... if you haven't... DON'T!!... NOT FOR ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY!!)
15 Squats... milk a cow by hand - without a stool. (After a couple weeks of cow... try goat.)
15 Lunges... Noodle once a day. If you can't noodle, try and catch a rooster.
15 Push Ups... pull up cottonwood stumps or do sex... your choice... they both accomplish pretty much the same thing.
15 Toe Touches...weed the turnip patch from a stand'n position.
15 Leg Raises... walk in the pig wallow... this is easiest with your bare feet on... so for your second repetition... wear loose boots.
15 Arm Circles... herd cows.. or fight the rooster.
15 Knee Raises... more pig wallow... plus, the mud is good for your skin... leastways that's what we tell the tourists.
Play outside for 30 minutes a day... we are of two different minds bout this one... Roy says noodle'n... I say tree climb'n.
Well, there you have it… cheaper than a gym membership and more effective than jump’n up and down for no good reason.
