Gazers Among the Gods

Kova Eniana Gourova

Nobody believed me but the stars spun. I watched them from the surface of Exzauna and I saw them spin. They created beautiful arcs of color, blurs of light. Planets and bodies of light that were hundreds of light years away. I saw them spinning. It was first cycle of the lunes, our three moons hung low at the edge of Exzauna, just peeking their three faces up at me. 13 more cycles and they'd be back, 13 more lune cycles and I'd be a fully trained medic, fighting in the field with my brothers and sisters beside me.

My teachers told my I was wrong. The faraway lights weren't spinning, it was a trick, an illusion. Something that my mortal eyes mistook for movement. The Gazers knew far more than any of us about the stars, their movement through our galaxy. Their readings of the stars were the predictions of the coming lune cycles, what lay ahead for our seasons. They could look at the stars and tell us the will of the gods.

Someone coughed behind me. I started up, my heart pounding beneath my shirt. Through the dark Atlanta emerged, her eyes were surrounded in heavy gold and blue shimmer, thickly lined in swirling lines of darkly drawn kohl.

"What are you doing out here all alone my dear?" She asked, reaching her fingers towards the stars.

I brushed my hands down the length of my pants absentmindedly, "I came to see the stars."

A smile lit her lips, I always felt Atlanta had a certain soft spot for me. Most other younglings would be written up for trespassing on Gazergrounds. But she just smiled.

"I told you papa that you had made a better Gazer than you would have a medic. A shame, such a waste of good talent. You can't see them moving can't you?" She moved her fingers towards the brightest star right above us. Its light seemed to be pulsating, moving from gold to silver, spinning before my eyes. My eyes met hers, I nodded.

She scrunched up her nose, "Yes, you would have made a great Gazer. Those movements are the gods, inhabiting their lightened forms." The star winked at me.

"Which star is that one Kova?"

"I don't think I'm qualified--"

"Be quiet, you've plenty knowledgeable in the stars. Which one is the brightest star in our galaxy."

"Tahlia. Goddess of the Light and the Seasons." The words left my mouth before I had time to think. The answer clear to my lips.

She nodded, her eyes crinkling, "And why would she be inhabiting her lightened form at this time? Spinning as you like to call it."

My mind blanked, I never studied anything related to the stars past what was required in my lower education. We all knew the gods and their names, which stars inhabited their souls, where they came from, the legends associated. But what would the goddess Tahlia be doing in her star at this moment?

"She's preparing for the beginning of the seasons, the new cycle of the lunes."

"Very good, but not quite. She is the bringer of the seasons, the cycle of the lunes has already begun, she's already brought the seasons."

"But isn't that what I-"

"Not quite. That is the region she should be at this time in our cycle, that however is the goddess Akaisha. Overseer of waves and ocean." A laugh played on her lips, but her eyes sparkled with concern.

I shook my head, giving one last glance up at the stars before turning to leave.

"Nova."

I spun back, my eyes meeting hers.

"You should really consider applying for our summer internship, before you complete your medic training and join the forces to the North." She pressed the tips of her fingers against my forehead, a formal greeting recognized by anyone who chooses to follow the will of the gods, and the path of the stars. I bowed my head to her.

"I'll consider, but I highly doubt my family would approve." I gave her a sad smile and left. When I slipped through the crack in the gate, I look back. She was still standing where I left her, gazing at the stars. I ran from the Gazergrounds all the way home. Curfew began over an hour ago, if any of the city police found me out and about, without the right pass I was toast.

When I got home I eased the door open, cautious it didn't make a sound and slipped in.

"You're home rather late Nova."

I froze. A voice I recognized, but barely. Too smooth to be father's, Sadie wasn't home until the following moon cycle. My bones chilled, rattling something inside me. I opened my mouth to ask who it is, but that felt too obvious. Instead my hand glided against the rugged counter by the door, fingers searching for something, anything I could use against this stranger.

"You do realize curfew was hours ago." I couldn't place where I've heard that voice. It felt strong, coming from a position of power.

"Not that it's enforced," I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for the stranger to hear.

The stranger laughed, soft, comforting. I stiffened, friend or foe?

A light flickered on above my head, temporarily blinding me. The stranger was tall, his head scraping against the roof of our low ceiling. His hand clenched around the worn walking stick I knew so well, his muscles quivering against bone. His dark hair had turned to salt and pepper, kind eyes crinkled with wrinkles.

My breath halted, Olyvk?

It had been years since I had seen my uncle, not since I was a little girl. My heart clenched as I ran forward and embraced him. I hadn't fully realized how much I had missed him over the past fifteen years. Fifteen years since my mother had passed.

He squeezed me in a tight embrace, it felt like home had returned to the dingy apartment my father, sister and I shared. A kind of warmth it had been missing for years now.

"What are you doing here? You haven't come by in..." A cold seeped into my heart, after my mother passed he hadn't come by, he hadn't been there for the death ritual, he hadn't said goodbye before he vanished.

"Where were you," I whispered. Having him there would've meant something to me, would've meant something to all of us.

His previously smiling face was cast in shadow, guilt reflecting through his eyes, maybe even shame. I wouldn't admit it, but seeing that look made me feel slightly better. At least that meant he felt something about it. He understood what it would've meant.

"I'm sorry if you felt like I abandoned you and Sarai." He better feel sorry, for months Sarai crawled into my bed to fall asleep beside me because she felt so alone.

"That's not an excuse. Why did you leave." I swallowed, keeping my emotions at bay.

Olyvk kneaded his hands together, pulling at flesh and nail. I wasn't going to let him off the hook, not that easy. He glanced around the room, looking anywhere but at me. He wasn't going to give me an answer, at least not a truthful one. I remembered him like that, he was a grown man who couldn't find it in himself to lie.

"Something's happened." Something hardened inside me. We had spoken, much less seen each other in years. This man, my uncle, was a shadow in my memories. Now he shows up, after years of silence, claiming something's happened. And somehow it concerns me.

"I don't think you coming here was a good idea." Even as I said them, the words hurt. The child in my memories cursed me with her foul mouth, her heart cracking at the edges. But I wasn't that little girl anymore, I couldn't be. Too much time had passed, whatever he was caught up in wasn't no longer my concern.

"Kovika..." I flinched at the pet name. I was no longer a child.

"Whatever mess you've made for yourself it is no longer my, or my family's concern. It stopped being my concern when you left us. We stopped being family you day you didn't come back." I stepped to the side, opening the doorway to him. He looked forlorn, at the door, then back at my eyes. They didn't look nearly as broken as the day he didn't show up to her death ritual.

"Kova, it's," his feet stopped short of the door, eyes watering, "it's about your mother."

My heart thudded in my chest, pulsating beneath my skin. My blood felt hot, the room too sticky and ill-ventilated.

"What about her," my breath caught in my throat. His gnarled hand rested against the door, nails scratching into the dark wood.

"She didn't die. And it's about time you know."