Namjoon's broken lover (X-reader)

Feelings

Author's note: I didn't wanna be mean and just put her so.... you can change the pronouns to fit you how ever you'd like.

Jin's Pov

Kim Namjoon is perfect.
Too perfect to love a fag like me.
I hated the fact that i was in love with namjoon, its hard to explain the feelings i have around him. I blush when he says my name, laugh to hard at his jokes, mostly yhe sexual ones. Shit! Im gonna be late. This was the last week of school i can't be late. I could hear (Y/N) walking up the stairs and stopping in front of my room door. "Seokjin get up! You're gonna be late!" s(he) yelled at the door and when to open it. When i realized s(he) was opening the door i dove into my bathroom. S(he), my sister(brother), couldn't see me like this.
My scars.
The scars on my body was ugly. My body was, no is ugly.
Namjoon would never love this body of mine it's to ugly to love.
"Seokjin! Come out! Let me see your arms and stomach!" S(he) said on the other side of the door. "Sorry can't in the shower!" i turned on the water and waited for her(him) to leave. But s(he) didn't. "Seokjin!!! You have 5 seconds! To get your ass out here!!" i couldn't let her(him) see my body. Not with the new scars add just yesterday. "Jin~ please baby" s(he) sounded like s(he) cared but s(he) would be mad at me. "You missed the bus so im gonna have to drive you anyways, so hurry up and show me please baby bro...."
I didnt want to. I was scared she would get mad at me. "Fine..." i settled. I walked out of the locked bathroom in only my shorts from the night before. Bare chested in front of her(him) was killing me. "Baby.... Why did you do it? I thought...." i could see tears in her(his) eyes this was killing me. She knew how to do it. She looked at my arms and held her mouth when she saw the new ones. "I thought you were getting bett--" she couldnt hold the tears in anymore. I could tell that she was about to cry her eyes out. I was speak less when she begin to role up her sleeves. The left one than the right one. I looked at the ground the whole time. She picked up my head by my chin and showed me her wrist i didnt see anything when she showed me but i looked harder to see little lines up and down her arms. She tears had stopped but i still hear crying i soon realized it was me when she rub the tears off my cheeks. I didnt wanna say anything. She never showed me that. I never knew. I thought about it i wonder who else knew about my cutting about her cutting..... So many feeling i couldnt deal with it anymore. I wanted to end it but i thought about my sister and how it would affect her. Would she cry, would she cut again would she....
My brain hurt.
I was tired but i wanted to see namjoon.
"Look how about we talk. You dont have to go to school to day. Ill let you stay home today so we can talk if you like?" she sounded off. Like she knew what i was thinking. "Ill call namjoon while your in the shower and tell him to get your school work ok? If there is any anyways."
"B-but i like scho--" she cut me off with "no you dont you complain about it all day, everyday. And i wont tell him you like him ok." i blushed again she was the best big sis anyone could ask for. I loved her with all my heart. Even though shes only older than me by a year. She was always my best friend. And she knew everything. "Ok. Can you see if he can come over after?"

Thx Kamz_underrrated