I slammed the door behind me, collapsing into my bed and burying my head in my pillow. I cried softly into it. I didn't understand. . . I'd been preparing for this moment since I'd gotten here, and I ruined everything for myself with the Avatar and the Fire Nation. They both would kill me now.
I continued crying into the pillow until someone knocked on my door, and I hoped it was Zuko. I stood up, wiping my face, my lip trembling. My hair was a mess. I'd thrown the crown against the wall. I kicked it aside as I threw the door open.
"Zuko, I—"
"Stop." It was Azula.
"I can explain," I tried, but she shook her head and pushed my shoulders back. I stumbled back as she swiftly walked into the room.
"You lied." She narrowed her eyes. I pursed my lips, putting my hands over my face. "You lied and then screwed up everything."
"It just happened—"
"Look, Mei, I lie a lot," Azula said.
I stared at her, the lump in my throat preventing me from taking.
"In fact, I lie so much I've lied to you most of all."
"Azula, where is this coming from—"
"I lied that there was no other information in your father's room the day I sent you that gift." Azula glanced at me and then paced across the room, her arms behind her back.
"What are you talking about?" I said shakily. You're joking, right?"
"No, not this time. Do you want to know who your mother is?" she asked, the smirk frozen on her pale face.
"Azula, what are you saying?" my eyes were stinging. My stomach hurt. My brain hurt. My heart, oh, my heart— "You know if my mother is alive?"
"No, I don't. But I know her little secret."
"What?"
"You're not her only child."
"What the hell, Azula?"
"There are two other children," she continued ignoring me. "But how about your father?" Azula said, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
I was trying to take this information in. Was she lying? Did I have brothers out there somewhere? Sisters? A brother and a sister?
"He was a guard, but not just any guard," Azula continued almost carelessly. "He was my father's cousin."
It hit me as hard a brick in the nose, maybe even harder. "Are you crazy?" I asked hoarsely. "Tell me you're making this up. Please."
"You wish," Azula rolled her eyes.
"You're my . . . "
"Sort of like a second cousin. We're related!" She laughed coldly. She wanted to hurt me, to tear me apart for not being sure of my decision. "And your mother?"
"Azula," I whispered. " You can't. Don't do this to me, I'm begging you." I always wanted to know, but not like this. Not in a way it would hurt me.
"She called herself Kya in the Southern Water Tribe. Putting the pieces together?"
Kya. Where had I heard that before?
Katara. Kya's daughter. Sokka.
I was regretting standing up. I fell this time, my knees weak. my hands were pressed to the cold marble floor. I was shaking and the tears were starting, pat, pat, patting against the ground.