Colonel Seeders' Mail Order Bride, Hank

33 Hawk

Hawk:

***

Hawk opened his eyes when the glass dome released with a hiss. Before his father could reach for him, he jumped off the bed and walked to his room.

He heard everything.

His father chased Sebastian and his uncles away, just like he’d done when they told him Lilly was not right for him. If he’d listened to them, Hawk would have been born to his real mother, Michelle. Instead he’d become a weight on his father’s shoulders. A guilt that he couldn’t shake off.

And then his mother came in, hurt and bleeding, and yet she cared more that Hawk had survived. The first shot only grazed his skin. The burning fur did more damage than the actual shot. He heard the general’s thoughts. He did not plan on honouring his promise to let Hawk go. He wanted him dead. He wanted his mother dead. And he wanted his hard headed, selfish father dead. She still urged him to make a run for it, sacrificing herself so that Hawk could try to get away, get to safety and his father never bother to listen to her reason for not being with Hawk when he found him.

He chased her away as well.

Hawk would not stay with a man that did not care about anyone but himself.

He did not care about Hawk. He only looked after him because it was his duty as Hawk’s father, the man that helped conceive him. He didn’t care about Michelle either. She just kept his bed warm and took some of the burden off him when she watched and taught Hawk how to look out for himself. That’s why he married her. He’d been wrong to think that his father had an ounce of love for him or Michelle.

“Hawk, will you talk to me? I need to know if your okay.”

“Okay! Okay? Who the hell can be okay after being shot? Do you even care what happened? Do you care that you sent the one person away that loved me more than anyone in this universe? Including you. Did you think about the babies before you opened your big mouth and ordered my mother to get out of the house? Or are they as much a burden to you as I am? Would you like me to leave? You can have your peaceful life back. Go where you want, do what you want, just like you did before I was conceived.”

“What the fuck are you talking about. Of course I care about you. I’ve always cared!”

“Then why the hell did you send my mother away? The general knocked her out and dragged her away. Who knows what he did to her. Did you even see that she was bruised and bleeding? Even if you did, I doubt that you even care. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

His father’s mind had gone blank. Good, he shocked him enough to start thinking about what he had done. Maybe he would rush out and go look for Michelle, maybe he wouldn’t, but he would never find her without Hawk’s help. Help he refused to give unless she asked him to. For his mother he would reveal her location. Only for her.

“Hawk, where is she?”

“Gone, just like you wanted it. You will never see her again. You will never meet my siblings. You even lost your brothers and only friend because you want to act like an asshole!” Hawk shouted through his door. He knew he treaded on thin ice, but he needed to make his father think about all his actions. He had to deal with the loss and pain and start living again. “You were the reason my mother, Lily, took her own life and tried to kill me too. If you only cared as much about her as you did about yourself, maybe she would have loved me as much as Michelle does. Even after she killed herself, you still could not stay home long enough to look after me. I raised myself. Michelle cared enough to teach me to fend for myself. Hell maybe you should send me away too, now that I no longer need you to do things for me.”

He sat down on his bed and started counting back from ten. When he got to three, his door creaked and snapped off the hinges as his father stormed into it.

“Are you going to get rid of me now? You're ten years too late. According to Simmons, I should have been put out of my suffering the day I was born. No abomination, disgusting crippled, broken excuse for a child should be allowed to live. Go ahead. Punch me like he punched my mother. Dig your nails into my chest. Slice my back open. Drive a dagger into my leg. Heat up some branding irons so that you can sear your name into my skin.”

His father’s shoulders shook as the realisation set in. He dropped to his knees, sobbing into his hands like a child. Hawk almost ran to him, but straightened his back. He had one more thing to tell him. Possibly the last straw, before his father would finally open his eyes.

“She didn’t leave or run away. She offered herself up so that I could get away. She told me to run into the house and lock the house down until you came. She wanted you to come find her. To save her from Simmons. Instead, you chased her away like a stray dog. Did you even realise that she has been gone for five hours and you are still alive?”