younger | DΞΔN (slow updates)

twenty one | 21

# somebody else - the 1975

she missed him.

it had been over a month seen she'd seen him.
he disappeared without saying a word, and if it weren't for his instagram posts, he might as well be dead.

he'd gotten popular, often preforming at clubs, his songs playing at bars and on the radio.

she'd spiraled.

she wrapped up work with seunghyun then dodged his calls. she'd only been seeing jennie.

jennie had kept pestering her about giving hyuk a call, but maria had felt it unfair.

she'd been a bitch, she didn't know what to say now.

she walked aimlessly, making way through every aisle at the grocery store, pacing herself. she picked up a bar of chocolate and stared at the wrapper. it was purple and yellow. she sighed and chucked it in the basket.

she needed a moment always to evaluate her surroundings. she couldn't believe what her life had come to be. so she lived in denial.

her eyes wandered across every aisle. potato chips, corn chips, crackers, ramen.

ramen. she grabbed a five pack and placed it in the basket. she missed him fucking around in the kitchen.

when she unlocked the door and walked in, she felt the weight of her existence pressing on her chest. she felt lonely. only ever welcomed by the echo of when she set down her keys on the coffee table.

her life had turned into a series of mundane tasks, none of them she felt motivated to complete. a series of bland and beige.

she missed him.

she sank into the couch and stared at her darkened reflection on the flat screen across the room.

did he forget about her? has she already become a distant anecdote that scores relativity points in an interview.

has he met someone else?
and the image of a faceless girl with long hair and a body that fit right into his flashed and wouldn't fade. she couldn't shake it off.

someone who said words that made him laugh, who'd kiss him when he'd stop after his eyes had slowly found their way to her lips.

someone who'd take care of him, only better than she did. someone who'd care more than she did.

she felt this warmth inside her, and her stomach clenched. she didn't know what she was feeling and she didn't know what she wanted.

she felt that there was nothing that she could've done to fix what had happened, yet she remains upset by how things ended up being.

but she still feels weird. she was uncomfortable, doubtful...jealous.

how she felt was not enough, but she still wanted it back. she wanted him back.

it was the most selfish of her desires. she wanted him around knowing that she couldn't give him what he wanted.

but she didn't want anyone else to give it.