The Phantom Heartbeat

Chapter 15: Closing the door

Her emerald green eyes stared into my brown ones as as her leg pressed against mine. I subconsciously started to lean back, but she followed suit and soon had to support herself, placing her hand on my knee. Her blonde curls swayed with every slight movement of her head, her breasts touched my chest ever so slightly.

I swallowed, wanted to say something, but she beat me to it and looked at me with teary eyes. ''I still. . . love you, you know?'' Her voice cracked as she spoke. ''Even after everything that happened, after everything you've done. . . I can't help it. I'm so stupid. I've forgiven you over time because I never stopped loving you!'', she continued, as hot tears started running down her cheeks.

With her hands she clenched my shirt and buried her head in my chest. No more words were coming out, only a muffled sobbing. I fought back my own tears as I embraced her and hugged her tight. ''I'm so, so sorry. . .'' I managed to utter, even though we both knew those words were meaningless, that they wouldn't change anything.

For I had Diana now, after all. And I loved her. I loved her. . .

Violet looked up to me with glistening eyes, her fingers buried in my collar: her hair sticking to her wet cheeks. "Please. . ." she begged me. "Let me show you what I feel: let me show you one last time."

I didn't resist as our lips connected briefly, but intimately: a kiss overflowing with sadness and love: love that could never be returned.

Violet slowly brought her legs from around my waist to the kitchen counter. She looked at me as I slowly let go of her breast. ''What did you just say?'' she asked carefully, fearfully even. I couldn't immediately answer.

The sudden silence of the room pressed hard on both of us. ''I can't do this, Violet. . . I'm waiting for Diana. I love her. I thought I could do it, but you're making it so difficult. You're making it Hell for me. So please, Violet. . . Don't tempt me like this. I beg you'', I finished, as I took a few steps back.

Violet looked at the ground with hanging shoulders, her hands gripped together between her legs. It didn't take long for her shoulders to start shaking violently, for her to desperately wipe her eyes and face with the back of her hands - but it was too late now.

''SHE HAS LEFT YOU!'' she suddenly screamed at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. ''WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME NOW?'' she sobbed helplessly, frail even. ''Because I still hope she'll one day come back. . .'' I croacked. She cried, then slowly went over to panting heavily. ''She won't.'' Violet looked at me. ''Neither will I. Goodbye.''

''Violet. . .'' I tried, reaching for her, but without even looking at me she dashed towards the door and slammed it shut behind her. My arm slowly descended back towards my leg, as I could still see her appearance sitting right in front of me.

I did the right thing.

I was sure.

I was sitting on the couch, alone, in total silence. It was just like back then. Violet had left me behind after I broke her and her heart a second time. I was a terrible human being. I made her cry. I destroyed that smile, shattered it into countless tiny shards and pieces. I deserved neither her nor her sister.

I sighed deeply as I buried my face in my hands, running my fingers through my hair. A single tear managed to slip past my fingers and onto the ground far, far below.