One day, I was scrolling through the Wattpad app on my mobile phone, when I happened across a story titled, "The Average Man" with the tag "creepypasta." I tapped the generic cover and began reading. The story told of an incomprehensible beast that worked in a stamp factory, liked to talk about politics, and was exactly 5 feet, 10 inches tall. I shuddered in fear and put my phone down. A few minutes later, I picked my phone up to read another story, when to my dismay, the phone screen did not light. "That's odd," I though to myself. "It was at 75% when I turned it off." I plugged it into it's designated charging cord, when it still did not power on. "What's going on?" I said. I opened the back of the phone to access the interior battery, when I saw it. A green stamped symbol on the battery, reading "CONFIRMED." Exactly the stamp shown in the creepypasta. I screamed and threw my phone into my bed, the sim card and battery spilling out onto the sheets. I ran to the door when I heard three gentle knocks, and the voice of a 30 year old man.
"Hello. I am The Average Man. Would you like to talk about politics?"
I screamed so hard that the local news warned of an earthquake. My scream drove away The Average Man, as when I went to look through the peep hole, there was no one too be seen. I vowed to never read creepypastas on Wattpad again.
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The Haunted Creepypasta
HumorA slowly growing collection of satirical stories parodying the creepypasta genre. All stories are completly fictional and meant for comedic purposes only.
