Saving Winter

Chapter 1

Winter

The roaring sea swallows me completely, and I struggle to reach the surface. I'm so close that I can see the bright sunlight dancing above me. Through the watery haze I see a silhouette on the shore. My head breaks the surface and I call out, only to have the ocean drag me back down. The water burns my lungs. I realize helplessly that I am lost in the perilous depths of the water forever.....
I bolt upright, my heart pounding. 
I relax when I realize that the noise I'm hearing is just thunder outside and not the distant roar of some large and scary body of water fighting to bring me to a premature watery grave.
Curse that nightmare. It's the same one I've been having since I was six.
I pry my heavy eyelids open and try to focus my bleary eyes on the soothing glow of the alarm clock that sits beside my bed.
5:50.
No! I slept in again. I sit up with a stretch and wince.
It feels like I've got gritty sandpaper in my eyes, and I rub them in hopes of dispelling the pain.
It doesn't work very well, they're still burning fiercely. 
I really need to start getting more sleep.
I move to the window and push aside the old, gray drapes with a sneeze as the dust assaults my nose. 
I really need to dust. 
I smile ruefully as I add that to my ever-growing mental to-do list. 

My gaze wanders to the old barn and I see my brother, Phoenix, moving around.
"Oh snap! Phoeinx!" I curse under my breath as I grab my clothes and quickly change in the dark. 
I'm going to have to have a talk with that brother of mine. 
Quietly I shuffle to the bathroom and sigh as I flip on the light.
I step carefully, avoiding all of the cracked floor tiles. I learned that lesson the hard way last week when I tripped on a shard that was sticking straight up like a jagged spike.
I did my best to pull up all the sharp pieces, and I got all that I could see, but I wasn't about to test my work with my bare feet.
When I save up enough money, I will finally be able to get this fixed. 
I grab the hairbrush sitting on the stained counter and wince as I run it through my thick rat's-nest hair. When it's finally passable, I pull it over my right shoulder and begin to braid it.
The drip-drip-drip of the rusty faucet catches my attention and I growl. That's another thing I thought I had fixed. 
I catch my reflection in the largest in-tact piece of the shattered glass mirror and wince at the refection staring back at me. I look like a walking zombie. 
I shrug and tip-toe down the stairs with a furtive glance at my dad's bedroom door. 
Still dark, so he must still be sleeping. Good.
I snag one of the apples from the counter up before pushing the squeaky back door open. 
The bird are starting to twitter despite the gloomy weather, and it makes me smile.
We could all benefit if we took lessons from the birds. They're so happy that they always sing, no matter what the weather looks like around them. 
I move quickly to the barn, which also looks like it's weathered a few storms of it's own. 
Most of it's red paint chipped off years ago. 
Another thing to add to the list.
I unlatch the door, step inside, and close my eyes as I breathe in the familiar scent  of hay and horses. 
This place is my safe haven, the one place I can truly be myself without any fear.
"Good morning, sleepy head." Phoenix teases as he pokes his head around the corner.
"Oh Phoenix, I'm so sorry I slept in again." This is the third time this week.
And it's only Wednesday.
"Sis, we've talked about this. You're fine, okay? Just keep working on that degree. You work two jobs and still manage to take online college classes without dad knowing. I'm really proud of you." 
My brother's warm words make me blush, "Thanks Nix." 
My dad doesn't want me taking college classes. He says all that learning is just wasted on a girl, and it doesn't do her a bit of good except to put bad ideas in her head.
If he ever finds out that I'm taking them behind his back... 
I refuse to think about the consequences. 
I shake my head and smile at Nix.
He just nods as I walk to the stalls. 
I lead my beautiful horses outside so they can be in the pasture for the day while I get to work mucking their stalls.
The work always makes my muscles burn with the effort, but it's the kind that makes you feel good. Besides, the more I have to do... the less time I have to think.
I continuously check my watch, because as soon as I'm finished with this, I have to take a quick shower and get to town for my shift at the diner at 1. 

"Winter!" The loud, angry, gravelly voice booms through the barn.
"I'm here, dad." I call out, frantically running down my mental list of "dos" and "don'ts" trying to figure out what I've done wrong this time. 
"You didn't put on the coffee before you ran out here." He growls.
My dad is 5'9, and he's tall and wiry, but he has a nasty temper the size of the entire continent. Especially when he's drunk or hungover, which is.... pretty much 24/7.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry dad. It completely slipped my mind." My voice shakes as I spot my father's figure rounding the corner. 
"Don't you dare let it happen again. I make sure you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food to eat. The least you can do is make me coffee in the morning!" He shouts.
I wince and take a step backwards so that my back is against the barn wall.
I close my eyes and brace for the slap that I know is coming. 
Except, it doesn't.
"I have the day off, so I'm going to town. Don't expect me to be back until late." Dad spins around on his heels and walks out at a brisk pace. 
I breathe a sigh of relief and finish with the last stall, trying to stop the trembling in my limbs. 
Crisis averted, this time.
I check my watch. Only 9:30. 
I still have time to saddle up Oreo and ride out to check the fence. 
Relief washes over me.
I mended the fence by myself for the first time last week, and I'm really proud of the way it's held up so far. 
I know that I'll be on my own if it doesn't hold and the horses get out again.
When it happened last month, it took me so long to find them that it nearly got me fired at the diner because I was so late.
Definitely not my proudest moment. 
I sigh as I grab my wide-brimmed hat to block my head from the sun. 
I don't so much mind the sunburns, although those hurt like crazy sometimes.
It's the freckles that I hate. They soak up the sun like a dry sponge soaks up water. 
Stacy at the diner just quit calling me 'freckles' two weeks ago, and I really don't want anything to start it back up again.
I head out the door and past my old treehouse.
A few of the boards are coming loose, and it's in bad need of repairs all the way around.
Dad wants me to get rid of the eyesore, but I just don't have the heart to tear down such a big part of my childhood. 
So, if I want to keep it, I'll be fixing that alone too.
Another thing on the to-do list. 
Lately it seems like everything is piling up faster than I can keep up, and I'm honestly not sure if I can ever get back on my feet again.
Maybe that's the reason that my dreams are always about drowning.
I wrinkle my nose and go find Oreo. 
Maybe I can't get everything done, but I can do some. 
Maybe that's all I can do anymore, just keep working on things little by little and hope that one day I'll be able to stand again.