Finding Love -The Story Of A Lost Teenage Emo

Chapter Two

At 7:50 I went downstairs to wait for Sasha. My mother was in the kitchen, angrily setting the table. Slamming down plates and glasses, tossing silverwear in the general direction of a place setting. She glanced up at me.

"Where are you going?" she snapped.

"Wild party. Drinking, drugs, I'll be home when the cops shut it down."

"Don't you toy with me! I am not in the mood. You're eating dinner with us before you go anywhere."

I glanced at the clock on my phone. "Ok," I said simply and went into the living room. If she thought I was going to put Jake on hold for a dinner with my parents she was mentally insane. My dad was sitting in his recliner watching a football game. He didn't even acknowledge the fact that I'd walked into the room. After a minute or so headlights streamed in through the bay window and I knew it was Sasha waiting for me in the driveway. I hopped up and walked out of the living room and into the entryway. "Bye Mom!" I called, and shut the door behind me as she began screaming at me about dinner.

The passenger seat of Sasha's car was empty, but the back seat was at full capacity. I got into the front and everyone was already all riled up. The radio was blasting and everyone was talking over each other. I smiled and joined right in. This is where I felt normal, whole, and suprisingly, happy. I glanced foward and saw my parents screaming at each other in front of the bay window. My dad took my mom by the shoulders and started shaking her. She slapped him and started screaming at him some more. I glanced at my friends. No one else was looking in that general direction. No one else noticed, when it was like a show for everyone to see right in front of us. Sasha pulled out of the driveway and we were off.

"Kristin!" someone yelled and I turned around in my seat. Nikki handed me a wine cooler and I began drinking. I had no problem with alcohol, it was just the drugs that had me a little iffy.

Soon Sasha pulled off of the main road and we were on a road of stones with trees on either side of us. As we began driving up the hill our friends in the back, obviously already drunk, started yelling and cheering like we were on a roller coaster. When we got to the top the stone road ended and we were in grass. Sasha turned left and parked next to the cars that were already here.

When we got out of the car people were sitting on the hoods and roofs ot their cars, smoking cigarettes and texting. One car had all the windows open and was servicing as the music provider. Paramore blasted through the air as people laughed, drank, talked, and smoked cigarettes. There was a cooler sitting in someone's open trunk and I grabbed another wine cooler. I looked around as I drank, seeing if Jake was here yet. Another car appeared from driving up the hill and parked with the rest of us. I held my breath as the people came out, wearing their emo outfits with their emo hair and makeup. The breath shot out of my mouth when I saw Jake. I smiled, even though he hadn't seen me yet.

Sasha was at my side with a beer in her hand. "Look who decided to show up," she mumbled just as Jake caught site of me. He smiled and nodded at me. I bit my lip to keep from smiling and turned around. "What are you doing?" Sasha hissed in my ear.

"Not being desperate," I replied, throwing back some more wine cooler. Someone tapped on my shoulder and I wasn't surprised to see it was Jake.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, feeling extremely lame.

"Could I...get by?" he asked. I turned around and saw that I was blocking the cooler.

"Right, sorry," I said and walked away feeling incredibly stupid.

As I walked through all the cars I saw people were starting to get their stashes of drugs out. Some people were already sniffing and smoking them.

"Kristin? What are you doing here?" It was Carrie. I turned around to face her.

"Same thing you are."

"Oh really? Well then let's see it," she said, blowing smoke in my face. I didn't let it faze me, even though I really wanted to cough.

"I never bought, remember?"

She rolled her eyes and went back to the people she'd been talking to.

I was beginning to feel pretty alone. Sasha was off drinking and talking to people, and everyone else had divided off into groups, all of whom were smoking or drinking something of some sort. Jake had blown me off even though it'd been weeks since we'd last seen each other...my thoughts strayed to the razor in my pocket but now was not the time to do that. I sighed and decided to find Sasha.

She was sitting in the grass with a bunch of other kids from our school, and some I'd never met before that were making out with kids from our school. Sasha was smoking a cigarette and talking to the girl next to her. I sat down next to her and when she saw me she offered me a cigarette, too. I pulled the lighter I had out of my pocket and lit up. Just then another car could be heard coming up the hill.

Almost every conversation went silent as we watched to see who it was that could be showing up so late. The car parked with the rest of ours, and for one fleeting second I thought it was the cops undercover in a regular car. But it wasn't cops that came out, it was more emos.

Almost everyone else went back to talking, but I continued to watch everyone get out of the car. It was all girls, and then the last person to get out was a guy. I gasped. Who was that?

Sasha saw me staring. "That's Kyle. He's new around here. Doesn't go to our school, but he's around."

He looked up just then, straight into my eyes, and I quickly looked away. Just then Jake sat down next to me. "Hello," he said, taking a drink of beer. My heart started thudding.

"So where have you been the past two weekends?" I asked, looking straight ahead as I took a drag from my cigarette.

"My mom forced me to spend the past two weekends in Maryland with my dad," he said.

"No way!" I said, and started laughing.

"Yeah, she had a break down the other week about how she 'doesn't know me anymore' and thinks 'maybe my father can help me get back to normal'. She doesn't want me hanging out with the people I do. Says we're bad people and a bad influence." I snickered and so did he.

"So what'd you do at your dad's?"

"Well I figured that maybe if I would just be myself around him he'd kick me out, but it didn't work the first weekend so I cranked it up anotch last weekend. I drank and smoked right in front of him. The one time I made the firealarms go off." I started laughing. "So my mom grounded me and I snuck out to come here."

"Awesome," I said as I stood up. Jake stood up too and followed me to a random car to get a drink. I threw my cigarette in the grass and got myself a beer.

Jake and I hung out for the next few hours, drinking and talking. I felt like I was dreaming, or rather like I was back in time. Jake and I used to do this all the time, but he'd moved away and gotten new friends.

It was one in the morning now and people were still partying. Me and Jake were laughing about what kind of tattoo we should get until some slutty girl walked up to him and started making out with him. I took a step back, dropping my drink as my mouth dropped open in shock. When he struggled she pushed him up against a car and made out with him even more. Soon Jake stopped struggling and was kissing back. Tears streamed down my face and before anyone could notice them I ran away, down the hill and into the trees.