St. James

CHAPTER 41

   The month of April brought a flurry of nerves, excitement and a lot of test prep work for all the seniors at Huntington Beach High as we prepared for final exams, college entrance tests and graduation. My nerves were constantly on high alert and I began chewing on TUMS like they were candy as my stomach constantly rolled with the huge responsibility of trying to pick the right college to go to and what to major in. Brian tried soothing me as best he could but I just couldn’t seem to settle myself down anymore, even when the guys had practice or a few gigs to go to I was still on the edge of a nervous breakdown till finally one night, in mid-April Brian was able to finagle me away from the house and down to the beach, the sun still in the sky but setting rapidly as we walked onto the warm sands.

                “Baby girl I do wish you would relax” he stated quietly as we walked hand in hand towards the surf, our shoes left back at home as was the norm for a lot of beach goers around here. “Brian I can’t help it! Daddy is pressuring me to make sure I choose the right college and I know he wants me to go to some top notch, fancy college but I don’t want that! And heaven forbid I tell him why! OH MY GOD!” I wailed on dramatically, my accent in full force as I rambled on as we walked. “Why don’t you want to go to any of the colleges he wants you to?” Brian asked cautiously as the waves crashed around our feet. “Because! They’re all out on the east coast! That’s why!” I exclaimed with loud indignation. Brian pulled back on my hand as we walked and shot me a puzzled look “I don’t understand…” he trailed off as he searched my face for an answer. “Duh baby! I don’t…no, I CAN’T be that far away from you! I won’t have it! And when I told daddy that…well, you can imagine his reaction” I huffed out in frustration. Brian smiled at me a split second before frowning slightly and pulling me into his chest, his arms locking around me like vice grips as he spoke softly and sadly. “Callie don’t fuck your life up just to stay close to me. You have every option open to you right now, you should take them and get the things in life you want and deserve.” I struggled in Brian’s grasp as he said those words to me and started crying like he had stabbed me in the back with a rusty knife. “NO! I WON’T DO IT! NEITHER YOU NOR DADDY CAN MAKE ME! GOD DAMMIT BRIAN LET GO OF ME!” I cried out helplessly as my tears soaked through his shirt and I wailed on his sides with my closed fists. Brian held tight to me till I gave up fighting before he gently lifted my face up with both hands and wiped the tears off my cheeks, a frown creasing his face the whole time. “Baby don’t cry…it’s not that I want you to leave me but I would come to hate myself if you stayed here and deprived yourself of the best education just because of me.” I sniffled hard a few times before trusting myself to speak “Brian listen to me and listen to me good because I’m not going to change my mind on this. I will NOT leave this state to go to college. I can choose from plenty of stand up colleges right here in sunny California and get the same great education I need without going to those yuppie, preppy bitch colleges out east. Asking me to leave you is like asking to cut my lungs out of my chest and try breathing without them; I can’t do it and whenever I think of the possibility I make myself sicker than a dog. I’m not leaving California and I’m not leaving you. End of discussion…now, would you please kiss me?”

                I could see that Brian still wasn’t happy with my decision but I didn’t give a shit if he was happy with it or not. I knew a while back that I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him or leaving him behind and the feeling only grew stronger with each day we were together. Brian sighed heavily, cupped my head further into his hands and locked his lips with my so fiercely that I thought we were going to meld together like that for all eternity…and you know what? I would have been perfectly fine with that! The longer we stood there kissing the more heated and intense our kisses got till Brian literally grabbed me by the shoulders and gently shoved me back from him, gasping for breath as he did so. “Jesus Christ baby! I think you sucked my soul into your body with that kiss!” he gasped as we stood there a few feet apart now, the sun just about set on the horizon of the Pacific Ocean. Fear started to take hold of me again at the thought of another college-centered argument with daddy and I lunged for Brian again “Brian please!” I begged desperately as I clung to his shirt with both hands. “What baby girl? What is it?” he asked with soft agony while wrapping his arms back around me much like an octopus wraps its tentacles around something. I lifted my head and locked gazes with him “Brian please make the pain go away…please…” I trailed off in a whisper as I for whatever reason reached down and pulled my shirt up over my head. Brian looked around the beach frantically before pulling me over to one of the huge braces holding up the pier and pushed me up against it. “Baby what are you doing?! There are still people out here on the beach!” he exclaimed wildly as I began unbuttoning my shorts before reaching for his but he pinned my hands high above my head with one hand and pressed his body tight against mine, his chest heaving the whole time. “Angel stop…I know what you want…you want me to make love to you right? God baby…” Brian’s voice softened with each word he spoke as he slowly released my hands and began kissing me so slowly he had my knees buckling in no time at all. “You know, this is the exact same spot I kissed you the night I took you out to the movies?” he panted softly as we lowered ourselves down onto the sand. Brian wasted no time in sticking true to his word; he slid himself home, deep inside of me with one easy thrust as he lay above me and took his time loving on me…making good use of the term ‘make love’ because that’s just what we did; teenagers or not this was not sex tonight. It was straight up, pure, honest, loving intercourse that had me trembling and crying all over again as he held me to him and rocked me right over the edge of an incredible orgasm, the ocean waves crashing up on shore not far from where we lay spent. Talk of college wasn’t brought up again between the two of us but I could feel it sitting on our shoulders, Brian wanting to somehow convince me that I needed to choose the best school out there while I rebelled and fought against daddy and him both.

 April gave way to May and with May came excited talk of prom and all the fun things that go along with the biggest night in a senior’s high school life. The eight of us all agreed to chip in and get a limo to take us to prom which was being held at a rather fancy hotel right on the ocean and along with the limo the guys also got rooms at the hotel so we could party on well into the wee hours of the morning if we so chose to do so. Daddy of course balked at that and stated firmly that he wasn’t allowing me to stay overnight in a hotel with Brian but thankfully momma came to my rescue and reminded daddy that she talked her father into letting her stay at a hotel with daddy when they went to prom their senior year. “Yes but Vivian we were practically married by then! Hell you had my class ring as an engagement ring till I was able to afford one!” he stated with loud exasperation one night over dinner. “Well dear, they have been together their entire senior year and never once given us any inclination to not trust them or think that they’ve fooled around much past kissing and petting” momma stated making me groan in disgust at her use of the ancient word ‘petting.’ I could tell daddy was starting to cave so I turned on the charm and by the end of the night I had daddy grumbling in agreement to let me stay the night at the hotel with Brian as long as I came home by 2 o’clock the next day.