Part One

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Five years. It had been five years since I had given birth to my beautiful twins. To say that these past five years had been nothing but happiness and pure bliss would be a lie, but there were good times; many good times. However, there had been just as many bad times.

Watching my babies grow under the watchful eye of Val had given me a different perspective of the man I had been forced to marry, he was gentle and protective with them. It was wonderful to see this side of him that I didn't know existed until Luca and Ariella were born. I would wake in the middle of the night to see him holding one of the babies, he was always eager to give them whatever they desired and most importantly he found time to be their father.

It all came so unexpectedly and my hopeful self had begun to think that our lives could be this blissful forever. But nothing good lasts forever, and Val proved that the moment the twins turned three.

At that age they were able to walk, talk and understand most things they hadn't in the prior years which led Val to believe that age three was the perfect time to start preparing Luca for his future. Ariella didn't have to worry about that responsibility, but she wanted to badly to be included on Luca's alone time with their daddy. This led to temper tantrums and lash outs from Ariella's end, but my concern was focused on what my little Luca was going through.

By three and a half he understood words that most children his age shouldn't know. His vocabulary included: guns, fight, murder, strength, mafia, omerta, and kill. I hadn't realized how severe it had become until we were sitting at the dinner table one night and Luca ate his peas while casually saying, "Daddy showed me how to kill the fuckers that mess with us."

That night ended with a huge fight between Val and I. It resulted in me crying and begging Val to give him a few more years of being a little boy but my begging came to no avail. Although we argued and yelled at one another, Val never laid a hand on me but instead pulled me into a tight, unwilling embrace.

Now that the twins were five, I still didn't agree with this lifestyle but came to the conclusion that fighting it wouldn't make a difference. This was Luca's life and I couldn't change that, the only thing I could do was attempt to give him a normal life outside of his sessions with Val.

"Why doesn't daddy like me?" Ariella asked while we were in the kitchen one evening. Her question took me off guard but at the same time I knew something like this was coming.

My instinct was to protect her feelings and her view of Val, "Ari, honey... Your daddy loves you. I promise, he's just helping Luca with some boy things, okay?"

"But he never takes me fishing," She argued.

Fishing. That was the code we used for when Luca was taken with Val to train. It wasn't like we could tell Ari what they were really doing and at first fishing disgusted her so she wasn't interested. At this point, she was so desperate for her father's attention she would even considering the dreadful thought of fishing.

"Fishing is yuck," I told her in attempt to turn her away from the thought, "You get your hands dirty and have to touch worms."

Ariella wasn't pleased but it wasn't anger that covered her face, it was sadness. She loved Val with everything in her and I had no doubt that he loved her too, but training had taken up most of his time which left little to no time for Ari.

I sat at the island next to her, turning her face in my direction, "How about you and me go to American Girl this weekend? You can choose any doll that you want."

Still, Ari didn't seem interested. She only shrugged her shoulders and once the sound of the front door opening was heard, she jumped from her chair and ran out of the kitchen, "Daddy!"

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