True or False: A spider laid eggs inside of Randy Jackson?
I asked Google that the other day. No results came up except something about a spider living in some woman's ear. Wow. I didn't know my ear-spider story was on the Internet.
Anyway, I then asked my best friend Pharrell Williams, who replied, "I don't even know you! Untie me! I MISS YOU HELEN!!!"
I traveled the world looking for the answer. I asked my other friend Taylor about Randy Jackson, and she told me that she may have gouged out his eyes. I promptly shot her in the face and continued on my journey.
I encountered my old friend from my fourth year of kindergarten. His name was Gerald and he said that Randy Jackson was at his house right now and I could ask him personally!
I went to Gerald's house and no one was there.
The thing was Gerald lived in Brazil and I didn't know where in Africa Brazil was.
So I slept over at Gerald's that night. We told ghost stories and painted each other's nails pink...
I'm kidding. We're grown adults!
We painted each other's nails purple.
The next day, I woke up on top of Randy Jackson.
"Who- who are you?" he sputtered.
"True or False: A spider laid eggs inside of you?"
"What-? GET OUT!"
"So the rumors are true!"
That day, I found out that Randy has a talking dog who doesn't want to talk about anything but the Kardashians. "Oh my god, Becky, do you see Kim's butt? It is so BIG."
TO BE CONTINUED
