Heir Of Darkness

The Regret

My brain dashed into the past. Beautiful, it was, even now. Just that it was so beautiful that I had to buy it at the cost of my solace and unconditional love which was not reciprocated.

I reminisced our first meet which took place in a birthday party and it was a love at first sight. No less than a fairy tale did it sound, just that he was not the Prince Charming he was supposed to be. I had fallen into his arms that day and had continued to fall into his trap of love every single moment forth that.

Just a few meets and his charms worked on me completely. I was spellbound and he had brewed the potion of love in my heart. A potion so strong that every tinge of knowledge and logic managed to get burnt in its presence.

" Will you go out with me, Khushi?"

The words still resonated in my heart. The words which were the most memorable to me. Who knew that they were the stepping stones into the vortex of pain, I was to endure.

Is this regret that I feel?
Regret to have chosen the wrong person for myself?
Regret to have fallen for someone not meant for me?

I still remember the bliss which invaded my senses when he captured my lips into a passionate kiss for the first time. My body still shook into submission to that pleasure. Pleasure of being in the arms of someone I loved with all my heart.

" You are my everything!"

I was his everything. Everything which he didn't care about. Everything he was ignorant to. Was it so easy to ignore someone who loved you with all her heart? So easy to overlook someone's love which was ready to forget every pain, which he gave, to be with him?

They say that your brain replays everything of your life just before your soul detaches itself from you but why was I able to see only him and memories associated with him?

I could see Sheetal hitting me asking me to leave Arnav so he could be back to her.

The next thing I saw myself seeing was desperately calling Arnav on his number to be my side the night Sheetal had hit me only to be left unanswered by him. Fast forward into the next day where I see in the newspaper that he was with Sheetal. That Sheetal who abused me and threatened to kill me.

The taunts of people for being in a live-in relationship reverberated in my brain. My talk with Arvind Uncle on mine and Arnav's marriage played in my brain. How could I not be in a live-in relationship?

I had no other option left. I loved him beyond everything but his parents wanted my parents to come down to meet them, while they weren't obliging to do so. Those parents who neither understood my pain, nor my love.

I had been a victim yet was declared to be my own culprit. I dreamed of a future with Arnav. A bright future. Now neither Arnav remains nor my future. All those flattering moment of affection were meant to be seen but not felt. They were just meant to be captured by cameras but not by hearts but the obdurate heart, which mine was, chose to capture it and relish it, only to give me more pain.

The moments of passion which I considered to be passionate love-making meant nothing, nothing more than satisfying desires and needs for him. I was nothing more than pawn in his hands and now I pitied myself.

My condition since a few days had been horrendous. The stress had taken a toll on me but Arnav cared less. He was busy using up the money I had loaned out and busy with his Sheetal.

I could just see those moments which once inflicted a great deal of emotional torment to me and feel no pain, no hatred and no anguish. And maybe the only emotion I could feel was regret. Deep regret.

I knew my time was drawing close. The time offered by God to realize myself and realize the mistakes I had committed by trusting him and falling for him. But there was no going back now. And a thought struck me just as I lost into mere oblivion..

Was I pregnant?

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