Rainbow Connection

The Event That People Use As An Excuse To Fuck Each Other Regularly (Chapter 5)

Author's Note:
Hey y'all, just a heads up, this chapter contains e x p l i c i t c o n t e n t, due to popular request. Please don't bamboozle yourself by reading this then staring in your bathroom mirror for a solid hour pondering what the fuck you just read. If you don't want the froggy smut, then don't read it. (Yeah ik this was rated pg-13 but what the fuck do you sinners really care)
**this entire work is a form of irony so thick i really don't know what the fuck is real anymore. please take like, nothing seriously**

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Chapter 5- The Event That People Use As An Excuse To Fuck Each Other Regularly (The Wedding)
*FLASHBACK*
You're around 18 years old, in high school, or more specifically, your senior year. You can't express how fucking done with school you are; it's incredible, the desire to leave that bitch of a school, Weed High. It was a cold night, but you were busy inside of the warm house that was hosting a party. You didn't really know whose party it was, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Kermit was there. Kermit was a person of some interesting habits while at a party. For instance, you noticed how he swayed along with the thick bass that seemed to shake the entire house. He was a musical guy, you knew that, yet it was pretty cute to see him get into it. You observed how his green hands wrapped around the plastic red cup (filled most likely with some type of booze), and nervously had his webbed paws play with each other. He was in a group with Harry Potter, a Bronie named Trent, Steve Martin, Barnie, Yuri, and of course, Piggy. Approaching the group, you began to tune in on the conversation. Harry Potter laughed, the liquid inside of his cup dangerously splashing around, "And then the old bastard turns to me and is like, 'You're a lizard, Garri.' and before I know it, we're fucking." Trent shakes his head, his long pony locks sagging around his face, "Bro, that's like, hella gay." Harry looks up from his plastic cup, icy blue eyes stiff, "Your mom gay, lol." Kermit laughs, and takes another sip of his drink. Normally, you'd get protective and tell Kermit to take it easy, but well, you weren't his girlfriend, and you had a s c e n d e d, so you kind of didn't give a shit. Yuri breaks out into maniacal laughter, "So like, if you and Piggy are trying to do it, would that be bacon strips?" Kermit sputters into his drink while Piggy stands up straighter, "Well maybe if Kerm-y wasn't such a pussy about wanting to f-" To shut the whore up, you let out an annoying laugh, "S o o n w e w i l l p e r i s h." Piggy glares at you, narrowing her gigantic blue eyes in a manor that is meant to intimidate, yet comes across as a joke. Suddenly, a totally stoned Squidward waltzes over to your group, "Guys, is pee stored in the balls? Like think about it."Barnie grabs onto his shoulder, and stares dead into his eyes, "B r o." Harry Potter holds his hand up in protest, "D e e z nuts." Squidward takes a thick slurp from his pipe, and releases the amount of smoke a nuclear bomb could produce, "Cuz it would explain why peanuts are called peanuts. Pee nuts. S ee?" Potter lets out a drunken hiccup, and collapses to the floor, "ha ha, Ghandi." Barnie does some recreation of a dab, while Squidward acknowledges you, "Hey, wuz poppin Jimbo?" You giggle, not knowing how idiotic you both sound, "I want Kermit to be a vegan." Squidward overly pats your shoulder with his tentacle, "It's okay y/n, I wanna fuck the froggi boi too." Before responding, John Cena himself whispers into Squidward's ear, "You wanna get Inky with me, squid?" His head descends into his neck, his eyes wider than Piggy's ass, "y es." They disappear into the crowd, leaving you behind, once more. Kermit, finishing another cup, places it on his head, and laughs, "Look at me, I'm one with the Russians!" Glancing down into your empty cup, you decide to grab him by the wrist, "I drink you need another think." Making your way through the dense crowd of hormonal teenagers, Kermit yells into your ear, "Piggy doesn't like it when I wander off..." You ignore the thought of that pig bitch, "She ain't your mommy. Just have a little fun." As you make it to the alcohol table, a handsome guy you think name is Light stands up atop the cups, and proudly proclaims, "JE SUIS CHRIST!" As if he were conquering Mount Everest. Kermit fiddles with the now destroyed arrangement of alcohol, "Nooooo, not the vodka..." You poke at the disheveled table, more sad than upset, and drop your hand from Kermit's arm (what were you thinking!?). But then, a cold voice slices through the loud, boisterous music, "Hmmm, I don't remember inviting muppets to my party..." You whip around, to find only, Burno Marz, standing on the stairwell of the massive house. The party gets quiet as he drifts through the crowd, "Actually, I specifically remember saying I didn't want any Muppets to show up. But they like to infest things, like the vermin they are. I should've hired an exterminator." You clench your jaw, glaring at the big cock in front of you. Burno smirks, and plays with the gold chains around his neck, "And as always, it looks like the frog has his princess guarding him." He approaches you specifically, avoiding Kermit's stoned stare, "You would actually be pretty cute if you didn't hang out with that tadpole." You can't help but feel enraged, "You fucking capitalist." Unmoved by your insult, he looks down to Kermit, "Too scared to talk, muppet?" Kermit stands still, avoiding Burno's face (me too). He turns back to you, inches from your face, "Now if you would, for everyone's benefit, please get the fuck out. This frog is killing my party's vibe." You feel the edge of your lips twitch, "No." He laughs in response, and stands up straighter, "God, you really both should just Kermit suicide," That was it; imminently, you release your fist from it's charged position, and eject it into Burno's pretty face. The blow is strong enough to knock him off of his feet, and plummet onto the hardwood floor. "O o f." He lets out, lying still on the ground. The crowd swarms around him, and it's Waldo who speaks up, "He's out, cold!" Frightened out of your mind, you grab Kermit by the wrist, and dash through the crowd, "Let's a go!" Dragging him out of the house, you find yourself running through the cold suburban streets with Kermit, quietly obliging. Once far enough away from the house, you bend over, recovering your energy. Kermit stands silently, but speaks softly enough for just you to hear, "Thanks." You turn to face him, out of breath, "Yeah." While you thought he would have no memory of the incident from all the alcohol, he would indeed cherish that night.