Blasé

Explanation

If you have not read the previous chapters of this book first, then do that before reading this explanation.

I think the best way to start this would be from the beginning. First off, I want to say that there are two distinct portions of this book

1.      reality

and

2.      what happens in Louis' mind.

Focus on this next bit.

I'll start by telling you what actually happened and I think that way it'll be easier to follow. Okay so in the very first chapter, Harry 'dropped his camera' on his way to work.

What profession involves a camera? Harry's a photographer.

Louis is a model. He sees Louis for the first time on the cover of a magazine, and has a photo shoot with him. This is indicated when Louis says in memoir 1:  "it's a nice change to the usual one-sided 'place your head this way' or 'give me another pose' "

From this you can tell that Harry was working with Louis and giving him directions.

They bond and fall in love. They have a healthy, normal relationship and they eventually admit to loving each other. The chapter labeled "eros," shows different phrases that Louis uses throughout the course of their relationship. I'll come back to this later.

After Louis tells Harry he loves him, Harry decides to surprise him with something. Louis already knew there was a surprise because Harry was 'always bad at keeping those a secret'

Look at the very last chapter one more time. Harry goes to the store where he saw Louis' picture for the first time to get him something. Then he 'told someone it was for his boyfriend'

A man did something. Next thing that happens, Harry is dead.

Think about it; he told a man that he was getting something for his boyfriend and then he ends up lifeless. Harry died as a victim of a gay hate-crime.

Keep in mind, this is what happens in reality.

Louis is distraught because of the sudden passing away of his boyfriend. And as a result, he creates an alternate to this reality in his mind. He creates a world in which he meets Harry under completely different circumstances and Harry is a completely different person. This next line isn't part of the story, but it's what motivated me while I was writing this:

He would rather have him alive as a murderer, than have him dead as the love of his life.

Now bear with me here, everything from chapter 1-45 did not happen. To make it easier, I'll call everything that happened in Louis' mind, "utopia"

In both reality and utopia, the first time Harry sees Louis is on January 19th 2014

You know how the story goes in reality, but Louis can't live with what actually happened, so he unfolds their story in a completely different way. He makes Harry a serial killer with seemingly pure and innocent intentions.