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The elevator up to the recovery ward was slow, just like the train as, as I watched water sog the ground beneath my shoes

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The elevator up to the recovery ward was slow, just like the train as, as I watched water sog the ground beneath my shoes. I shivered, regretting wearing shorts on such a wet and rainy day. I cursed myself for how I reacted to Taehyung's presence on the train.

At first, I wasn't sure if it was him. His hair was longer and a different, more natural, shade of brown. He wore a blue hoodie over a thin grey sweater and a black scarf, his own converse soaked from a grey color to a near black from the rain. He was out of breath and looked more beaten down than any fist could put him. He was a lot more affected about Jimin and Namjoon's...well mainly Jimin's state. He looked like a concerned friend, not a stranger. He was right after all. He was the only one who stayed.

When I said his name and he looked up, I knew I wasn't wrong. There's no changing who Taehyung was, even though I wished I could. I wished he was someone else who I didn't know. I wished I would've embarrassed myself instead of facing someone who I left four years ago. And then I hated myself for wishing that.

If I can't face Taehyung how could I face Namjoon?

I sighed and kicked the ground before a ding made me jump. I swung my backpack over my shoulder, stepping out of the elevator. I slugged down the corridor, noticing someone else rain water footsteps on the tile as a disgruntled janitor mopped them up. He looked up at me as I walked by.

I heard him swear under his breath about 'why is every kid in Seoul marching water through the ward today' and he tossed his mop back in the yellow-wheeled bucket of water. He sat down on a chair by one of the rooms and I bit my tongue not to turn around and apologize. It wasn't going to help anyways.

I figured Taehyung had gotten here first, which wasn't surprising, seeing how fast he ran out of the train car.

I found myself thinking more than walking, my footsteps slowing as I began to pass a gift shop. I stopped and turned, something catching my eye as I passed it. I turned around and entered the store, waving slightly at the tired girl behind the counter.

I wandered down the aisles until I found what had caught my attention. I squatted down to the ground, the koala keychain hitting my chest as I reached out for something. I smiled at the bright yellow stress ball in my hand.

Jimin had always carried one around back in high school, same color and everything. I remember how he'd dropped it one time and a little girl found it. She drew a cat stick figure on it before Jimin found her with it. She returned just fine, but the cat was drawn on in sharpie and had never wiped off. Jin had offered to buy him a new one because of the sharpie, but he always shook his head and smiled.

He always said it was cute and laughed about it.

I stood up holding the stress ball, smiling sadly. I found a sharpie in the store and bought the two items before walking out into the hallway again. As I made my way towards the ward's reception desk, I drew a stick figure of cat on the side of the ball, making sure it dried without smudging before tucking the two things into the pocket of my backpack.

I sighed and shook my head, looking at the ground as I rounded the corner. I hoped Jimin could forgive me too, when he woke up.

Namjoon, I hurt, yes. But Jimin was hurt the most in all of this. I needed to see him even more than Namjoon. I needed to apologize to him more than anyone else. Please stay, please stay there a little longer, Jimin.

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It has just occurred to me, whilst I proof read the upcoming chapters, that I really like the words 'angst', 'depressing', and of course 'makingPuscryismyhappiness'.

(No I don't proof read to fix typos pfft who has time for tgat?)

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