Flames || Rhink

Better Together

That night, laying next to Rhett was questionable.

I never thought I would think such a thing, but I felt...taken advantage of.

I knew Rhett wouldn't do something like that on purpose but he was leading me on.

He would touch me and kiss me and hold me, but we were just friends.

I didn't want to be friends with benefits.

I've always hated that term because it just seemed wrong.

How can you be okay with loving someone and not having them completely?

Maybe we weren't there yet, but to me, it seemed like we were. 

We had sex for golly's sake.

He told me in the shower how beautiful I was and while I loved it, it also made me sad, because he was sugar coating the problem. He was telling me and doing all these things differently then he normally would because I am fragile. 

Right now, with all my issues, I am as delicate as a daffodil.  And he's just trying to make me feel better.

But I wanted the truth. 

I  wanted things to be real between Rhett and I.

Either he loved me or he didn't. 

I felt bad for feeling this way.

I really did.

--

The next morning Rhett woke first and made us a bit of breakfast. All he had was cereal but that was okay.

I could get down cheerios just fine now.

We sat at the kitchen table, both barely dressed, both a looking like hot messes. 

He did have a natural glow to him though. 

"I'm glad you came to me," he said.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"I want you to do that more often."

I just nodded some more.

I wasn't happy this morning. I felt like a burden.

Rhett noticed, "Are you okay?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He stopped eating, "No you aren't. I know you better than that."

"Do you know me though?" I shouldn't have said that.

"What?"

"I'm sorry...I'm just upset."

He raised a brow, "Why?"

I stood and walked my bowl to the sink. There was a still a good bit of cereal in it. I just wasn't hungry.

"I don't want to be friends with benefits, Rhett."

He was quiet. I guess he had thought about this too. How could he have not?

"I love you and I love the idea of us, but I don't want to be lead on. If you want me, tell me. If you just want to be friends, let me know. I'm a mess right now and it seems okay to be doing what you're doing, but -"

"Link -" he began.

"No, hear me out. I want you to know how I feel."

I sat back down with this newly found confidence, "I'm still in love with you. I'm so happy you're back in my life. But last night made me think that maybe you were just taking care of me in a special way. I'm not going to fall apart if you don't love me. Not this time. So just be honest with me Rhett. What are we? What am I to you?"

He had pushed his cereal away. He was so fully developed into my words that he seemed speechless.

I waited.

"I'm scared of being in love with you," he finally said.

My heart broke, but I didn't show it.

"I can't lose you again. We can't fuck this up again. I don't want to be the bad guy here but I don't know if we're ready to put a label on anything."

I shook my head, "We don't have to be anything but friends Rhett."

He shut up.

I could see the pain in his eyes. He didn't want to hear that, neither did I. 

"I can't deny the fact that I am in love with you, Link."

I took a deep breath, "Then don't. Just know that this hurts more than it helps." 

He stood then and went to the bathroom.

I felt so bad, but it was driving me crazy. I had thought about this every time Rhett had kissed me or hugged me or called me sweetie.

I felt like a charity case sometimes. It was awful, yet exciting because it did give me the hope that maybe Rhett did love me.

And he did. 

I followed him. He wasn't getting away that easy.

"Hey, don't get upset," I called through the door. "I just want to know where we stand Rhett."

Minutes went by before Rhett opened the door.

He reached out and grabbed me by the waist. Typical.

He kissed me.

I fell in love again, almost regretting the conversation I just had in the kitchen.

"I stand with you. I have my entire life. I'm scared but if we are honest with each other, we can do this. I know we can. We're better together and that's just the honest truth. So please, make me the better me, and be my boyfriend for the second and last time in our lives."

I was smiling like a fool. 

I said yes, needless to say.

Rhett was mine again.

All mine.

--

Eh? 

I don't know.

Thanks for being your mythical best!

-Robin