Dream

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Sa pagpasok ng sinag ng araw sa aking kwarto, binalot ako nito sa kakaibang init, I roll onto my side upang kunin ang pinakamalapit na unan para takpan ang aking mukha. The groan I release is only to inform the empty room of my displeasure.

Inunat ko ang aking mga paa at kamay. As I stretch, my body released chemicals that allows me a moment of euphoria. While my limbs spread out of the bed, I almost wish my dream was real. Inabot ng aking mga paa ang gilid ng aking higaan pero wala. It's empty.

Isang malalim na buntong hininga ang kumawala mula sa aking bibig ng mapagtanto ko na panag-inip lamang iyon. Isang napakagandang panag-inip.

There is not a body beside me.There's no smile to greet me when I open my eyes.
There will be no “good morning" when I wake up.

Her brown eyes won’t reflect the early morning light, exploding in color as she watches me from the pillow that always smells exactly like her.

No, it was just a dream.

I decided to stay in my condo Friday night dahil gabi na ng matapos ang meeting ko kasama ang aking manager for a new movie that I was interested in. Fortunately enough they were also considering me for the lead role so the meeting ended late. I had the weekend off, wala akong shooting or taping so I decided to stay in town longer. I went out with some of my friends last night. 

I talked to Sharlene briefly Saturday morning before she was slated to sit in hair and makeup for the MMFF Awards Night. I sent her a bouquet of flowers sa bahay nila then she immediately called. That's when she knew I was in town. I was going to surprise her, that's why I did not tell her my where abouts, pero she told me na wala siya sa bahay nila. Medyo nainis pa nga siya sa akin when she knew I was in town. I would have been her plus one for the event if she had known.

She told me that her assistant was going with her for the event and I told her na mas okey na iyon given the publicity our “relationship” already receives, taking her assistant as her plus one would be a much smarter move. She agreed but still continued to rip me apart for not texting her before hand. She was upset. We could have grabbed breakfast together at the least, she said.

A lot of people have seen us together out on a date. Some have taken photos of us dining somewhere. People and media are speculating that we are romantically involved. As much as possible we like to keep everything private. We have not denied or admitted anything.

We texted throughout the day, like we usually does. She sent me some pictures during her glam session. At one point there was a photo she sent me that had me cracking up. Her hair was raised so high above her head she looked like an evil scientist from a certain movie. Still a cutie, I told her. I shared a picture of me with some friends riding round town looking for some place to spend time. An hour later, I received a photo of her all done up and ready to go. I had to concede, she looked amazing. Game over.

Pagkatapos ng last text ko kay Sharlene, hindi na siya nakapag reply. I figured once she hit that red carpet, I wouldn’t hear back till much, much later.

We ended up at one of my friend's condo. We decided to have fun that night and when I say fun, alcohol was involved on it. It's been a long time since I tasted it. May tiwala naman ako sa mga kasama ko at minsan minsan lang naman din ito kaya pumayag na ako. We shared stories funny and sad. We laughed like we own the whole building. It was a fun night. I ended up calling my manager to fetch me and drive me home. Galit na galit siya pero when he saw who I was with, natawa na lamang siya.

I’m pretty sure I passed out around three in the morning. But thats where it got interesting.

I vaguely remember the bed wiggling and a body moving, curling up next to mine. I can still remember smelling something nice, maybe a hint of vanilla? I don’t recall anyone talking. I just remember a hand as it skimmed my side and found rest against my bare back.