Salvage | IARWCOE2

Salvage - 1/10

[Timeline: 2012]

They say things happen for a reason, a reason that is probably better for us compared to what we want and what we planned.

But it's been months.

It's been months since the girl I love so hard passed away. It killed me when she was suffering, and it's still killing me to wake up another day only to remember that there is no Shin Eunha around me anymore.

It's been months.

It has been months but it still hurts like yesterday.

I must say that things are not meant to happen for a reason, for I don't think her death would lead me to a better outcome because a day on Earth feels like years in hell without my angel. Eons even.

"Chanyeol," the staff motioned me to go on stage. The stage, the only thing that's keeping me sane. The only remaining thread of my sanity. Music made me calm, my fans made me stay, my members held my hand. They sum up my stage.

I glanced once more at the mirror before walking out of the dressing room to face the world again. The lonely, lonely world. I doubt it's ever going to stop being lonely. Suho gave me a nod and a pat on my back, "Go, Chanyeol."

If I could only fucking go. Go after her, I would, but I can't take something Eunha fought for. Life.

[Timeline: 2016]

CHEN HANDED me a calling card, "Here, maybe you'd want someone to talk to?"

I glared at him, "I don't need to talk." This is probably because of what I  said earlier in that variety show, about crying inside the van alone. They all made it funny but they all know the meaning inside that statement because it's real. They've watched me suffer for years. They know it's far from a script of a variety show.

He insisted by waving the card in front of my face, "Just try it. There's nothing wrong with trying, Chanyeol."

I snatched the card from his hand and stomped my way back to my room. Talk. I already talk too much, what else do they want? For me to be happy? I'm already laughing! Isn't it enough? They want me to talk to a therapist? Psh, can they even really help? If they ask me what I want, can they bring her back to life? If I tell them that the life here on Earth is nothing but a long nightmare without her with me, can they end this nightmare?

The picture frame lying on the bedside table caught my attention, but instead of spending another couple of hours crying as I stare at her picture, I jumped on the bed and tried to sleep instead.

[Timeline: 2018]

I WALKED inside the clinic, the nurse recognized me and gave me a thumbs up meaning I can already get in. I've been going here for almost two years already, always made it a point to come twice a month if the schedule can't permit the usual once a week. Being a celebrity has its perks, I no longer have to log in to their log book because people might recognize me if I stay at the lobby long enough. I just have to get inside and meet my psychiatrist. Losing her did really mess my mind, didn't it?

Almost two fucking years and I still have to go here.

I didn't really want to start doing therapy sessions and even managed to dodge it for years since her death but reality slapped me hard when I started having breakdowns that not even my members can do something about. It was taking a toll on the whole group, I had to do something before it affects all of us and Jongdae was able to talk me to going here, saying he knows the psychiatrist and it's a person he can trust. True enough, the doctor was nice and she keeps me grounded.