Lula's second artbook

I feel okay again

So this is what I've been through the past few days:

Last year, before I moved out of my parents' home, there was an incident when my mom has lost control of her temper and hurt me, leaving scars and big bruises all over my body. The worst part is she is my step mom. My biological mother has left our life when I was little, that was months before I came to live in the united states. My stepmother has walked into my life and has blessed us with two little trouble makers.

I forgave my mom for the sake of my little siblings because I know how painful it feels to have my parents separate at such a young age. I thought I was going to be fine, but I was wrong.

The last two weeks marked the first anniversary of my brand new trauma. It was a brand new battle I didn't know how to fight. I isolated myself from others, laying in my bed, dwelling in my new pit of darkness as the memories plagued my mind. My screams of terror, fear, and panic crossed my mind with no signs of stopping while my mom's trusted hands harshly landed on my body over and over. I was raised knowing I should never hit any adult family member, so I didn't fight back, all I could do was try to get away.

I was trapped inside my own darkness and I didn't know how to find a new light. My hair began to fall again, I started to sleep for a long time, almost all day. I barely ate anything. I was breaking down again.

I considered self harming again but despite of wanting to distract myself from the emotional pain with physical pain, I remembered the promise I made to my boyfriend to never self harm again. I've kept this promise for years and I had no plans to break it.

I pushed my sister away when she offered her help and support, because we already had a friend who was going through a tough time herself. The thought of letting anyone know that I was in pain while my friend needed help herself made me feel like a selfish person, so I tried to keep it to myself.

My sister tried and tried to break the new barrier I made and after a while succeeded.

I think I'll be okay again. Your weird freak show crew master may be okay again.
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But hey, I made new art lately.

And this was made a few hours ago.

I still need some time to patch up so I might not be active much until I feel completely better.