Sex Ed

Disclaimer: This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author's own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Author's Note: So, I had this really weird dream last night, and just had to sit down and write it down. It takes place in my crackish ANBU 'verse. In this alternate universe Sasuke didn't go off on an emo trip, but he and Naruto still got Old Man Six Path's help fighting Kaguya. So, he still has the Rinnegan.

Beta Reader: None yet. I'll edit it when the whole thing is finished.

Warnings: M for mature subject matter being discussed and compromising positions that certain characters may or may not be caught in. Also, I don't particularly ship Sarada with anyone, so over the course of this fic I pretty much stuck a bunch of names in a hat when I needed someone and went with whatever I pulled out. It made things...interesting, to say the least. In this universe, Sarada is bisexual, and her parents are very supportive of her, thank you very much.

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Sasuke Uchiha sits at his kitchen table, tools and rags spread before him as he examines the blade of his katana. There are several nicks near the tip that have inexplicably appeared since he last used it, and he frowns, drying to decide: Sarada or Boruto.

Between his student and his daughter he's surprised he has any weapons left in the house, let alone slightly damaged ones.

They were taught better than this, he grumbles to himself and adjusts his glasses.

(He's only wearing them because he's trying to preserve the strength of his dōjutsu for the next time alien ogres attack. It has nothing to do with Sakura mentioning she finds he looks 'sexy in specs'.)

SLAM!

Sasuke whips his glasses off at once and stows them under a rag at his sixteen-year-old daughter's return. At least, it has to be Sarada, judging by the not-so-dulcet stomping. She's in her combat boot phase, which is a mixed blessing; at least it allows him time to compose himself lest he lose some of the 'cool' factor in her eyes.

"I hate being an Uchiha!" Sarada yells at the top of her lungs, stalking past the kitchen and down the hall. There's another slam of the door, this time much stronger; the foundations of the house rattle, and Sasuke physically braces in case he has to make a quick escape out the window.

It wouldn't be the first time.

When dust settles and windows stop vibrating, Sasuke muses about what drama has affected Sarada's mostly sheltered and privileged life this time. She has been more prone to bursts of temper in the past few years, the cause of which can range from Boruto making a particular fool out of their squad to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

(He completely agrees with her on the latter; what role do fake pockets serve? Where's a kunoichi supposed to store her shuriken?)

As usual, he debates the merits of going to check on her or waiting for her to seek him out. On the one hand, she's his little peanut, and he wants to deal swiftly with anything that upsets her. On the other, he remembers Sakura at that age, and the broken bones that came along with incorrectly deciphering her tempers.

Best to wait. She'll come out when she's calmed.

Like her mother, she isn't shy about sharing how she really feels about things.