Steamed Hams (Camila/You)

Steamed Hams

Your POV.

Camila Cabello Arrives At My House, She Rings The Doorbell And I Open The Door To Greet Her.

"Well Y/N I Made It, Despite Your Directions", She Said.

"Camila Welcome", I Said, "I Hope You're Prepared For An Unforgettable Luncheon.

 "Yeah", She Replied Back.

I Then Go Into The Kitchen To Check On The Door When All Of Sudden There's Smoke Coming From The Oven, I Open It To See The Ham On Fire.

"Oh Sausage Eggs", I Gasped, "My Roast Is Ruined",

And Then I See A Burger King Sign Outside My Window.

"But What If To Purchase Fast Food And Disguise It As My Own Cooking? Delightfully Devilish, Y/N", I Thought To Myself As I Headed For The Window Until Camila Spots Me, She And I Both Gasped.

"Y/N!!!!!!!!!", She Yelled Angrily.

"Oh Camila, I Was Just Stretching Myself On The Windowsill, Isometric Exercise, Care To Join Me?", I Said Nervously.

"Why Is There Smoke Coming From Your Oven Y/N?", Camila Asked.

"It's Steam, Steam From The Steamed Clams Were Having", I Said, "MMM Steamed Clams",

She Gets A Little Annoyed And Leaves As I Go Through The Window And Headed To Burger King, A Few Minutes Later I Return With The Items From The Fast Food Place As Camila Was Sitting At The Table.

"Well Camila I Hope You're Ready For Mouthwatering Hamburgers", I Said Cheerfully.

"I Thought We Were Having Steamed Clams", Camila Thought.

"No, I Said Steamed Hams", I Replied, "That's What I Call Hamburgers",

"You Call Hamburgers Steamed Hams?", She Asked.

"Yes, It's A Regional Dialect", I Replied.

"Okay, But What Region?", Camila Asked Again.

"Downtown Houston", I Replied.

"Really?, I'm From Miami In Florida And I've Never Heard Anyone Use The Word Steamed Hams", Camila Said.

"Oh Not In Miami, That's An Ontario Expression", I Said.

We Then Settled Down To Our Burgers, Camila Looks At Her Burger.

"You Know These Burgers Are Actually The Same As Like The Ones They Have At Burger King", Camila Noticed.

"Oh No, Patented Y/N Burgers, Old Family Recipe", I Replied.

"For Steamed Hams?", She Asked.

"Yes", I Replied Again.

"And You Call Them Steamed Hams Despite The Fact That They Are Obviously Grilled", Camila Said As She Shows Me The Grilled Burger.

I Then Hear Noises Coming From The Kitchen As Smoke Comes Out From The Door.

"Ye-You Know, The One Thing I Should", I Pause For A Moment. "Excuse Me For One Second",

I Then Get Excused As I Go Into The Kitchen, It's Now Up In Flames, I Then Come Back Out Yawning.

"Well That Was Wonderful, A Good Time Was Had By All, I'm Pooped", I Say.

Camila Then Checks Her Phone.

"Yes I Should Be", And Then She Discovers Fire Coming From The Kitchen, "Sweet Tacos Of Cancun What Is Happening In There?", She Asked In Shock.

"Stuff On Acid", I Replied.

"Stuff On Acid?, At This Time Of Day, At This Time Of Week And In This Part Of The Country Localized Entirely Within Your kitchen?", She Asked Angrily.

"Yes", I Replied Again.

"May I See It?", Camila Asked.

"No", I Replied.

We Both Outside The House As We Hear My Mom Scream.

"Y/N! The House Is On Fire!", She Yelled.

"No Mom, It's Just The Northern Lights", I Said.

"Well Y/N, You Are An Odd Friend, But I Must Say You Steam A Pretty Good Ham", Camila Said.

As Camila Was Walking Home, She Discovers That My House Was Really On Fire, My Mom Was Still Screaming At The Top Of Her Voice.

"HELP!, HELP!", She Screamed As Camila Was Walking Back And Fire Crews Then Came To Our Rescue.

The End.