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"AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

"Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

"Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

"Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

"Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

"Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

"Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

" * guy throws Frisbee into traffic * "WTF RICHARD??!!"

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