Raven

Chapter Nineteen - Decisions

All I can feel is a numb, chilled sensation. All I can see is darkness. I feel as if I'm just floating in space, aimless and lonely, without anything supporting me. And, unfortunately, I recognise the feeling all too well. Dimly, I wonder why the fuck I'm unconscious again, but then I recall what has just happened to me and I groan internally.

Scary dude with the staff, unknown entity behind me who was holding me still, me probably being stabbed in the heart. Right.

It occurs to me that I should be trying to wake up, but... I don't think I want to. It's so peaceful here, away from my usually hectic life, and I want to float in this empty place for eternity. As if from a distance, I hear a voice: "You really need to learn how to stay conscious."

I decide to ignore the voice, since I know that it's telling the truth ... but I can't just pay it no attention, though, because I need to get back to the waking world. So, I try.

I focus on waking up, and the blackness fades slowly: it feels like I'm coming out a dark tunnel, as I open my eyes to bright light. Okay, so apparently I'm not dead. This much is confirmed when all the sore muscles in my body begin to protest at once. Painful would be an understatement. All I can see at the moment is blurred shapes, but I blink a few times and recognise my room in the base. I'm lying in my bed, under the covers and all, my hands resting on my stomach.

"Was I ... dreaming?" I breathe, noticing with a hint of annoyance that my voice isn't working properly. And, to top it all off, I have a headache now. Of all things.

"What do you think?" Whoever speaks sounds really ticked off, and sarcastic. I swear several times in my head as I recognise the owner of the words, and actually find my voice enough to mutter a curse in Spanish as Acrobolt sits down on the edge of my bed. I remember what happened, by then.

"Let me guess. You threw me over one shoulder and hauled me back here." My words were purely a stab in the dark, and my tone is deadpan, but Acrobolt looks impressed, and no longer pissed off. Probably a good thing, actually...  but since when does he have a changeable mood like that? That's meant to be my job.

"How did you-?"

"A wild guess," I supply, cutting him off as I sit up, not in the mood to elaborate. Pushing my tangled hair out of my eyes, I wait for it.

I don't have to wait long, anyway, because as soon as I'm sitting up, the inevitable question comes from my apparently concerned friend: "What happened back there?"

I sigh, and begin to tell my story, zoning out of the real world to focus on what had happened before. I deliberately leave out the part about the staff glowing, not because it doesn't seem important, but because some instinct tells me not to say it. Almost as if there's a voice in my head saying, No. Not that part, not yet. Luckily, the taller guy seems not to notice my lapse in storytelling. He seems interested in the man, though, and I can see his curiosity when I meantion that someone was holding me still.

As I finish with how I was knocked out, I frown. "Harley, how long was I out for?" I ask, the mental math not working out in my head. Either my brain still isn't working properly due to being unconscious, or I've been out for a lot longer than I thought I was. Like one of my favourite book characters, who keeps getting knocked out by random things.

"A couple of hours," comes the reply, cutting across my thoughts again and confirming that my brain isn't fully awake.

I nod, thoughts flitting across my mind like clouds racing the empty skies outside, but one question keeps returning to the front of my thoughts: Stay or go? I've been thinking about this for a while, ever since I escaped my captors back in December. But, coward as I am, I've never told anyone my doubts about this way of life. But, I think now might be the time to go, before something worse happens.

And plus, I need to find out what happened to my mother, and do my own research on who our mysterious shadow man might be. And for that, I'll need my borderline genius cousin, Thea, and then of course Ruby will want to get involved... If I do choose to do this, I have to leave. and I think I might.

A voice startles me back to reality, though it is quiet: "What's going through your head?" Ah, right. Forgot I had company.

I sigh, and look Harley in the eye. "I wanted to tell you before... I'm..."

"Yes?"

"I'm leaving." There. It's out. Stop being a wuss, my inner bitch whispers. He'll understand, I think. I shift so that my back is to the wall, and wait for the fireworks, while thinking back to that inner self, Very helpful.

For half a second, his only reaction is incomprehension, as if he thinks I'm pulling a joke on him. Then reality kicks in, and he stands up. "What? Why?" he demands, almost loud enough to be yelling, and Ella's face appears at the door. I make a small shooing motion, and, luckily, she understands, and vanishes from view.

"Something is coming. I need to be prepared for it, and it has something to do with my dad's company. I can't tell you exactly, but I think it has to do with what just happened to me, and how m-mum died." I hesitate over the word, and remember that I never told Harley that one of my parents was dead. Looking back on it, that probably wasn't the best of ideas.

He sits back down, looking shocked again, as I feel tears start to well in my eyes. Even after so many years, and never actually witnessing my mother's death, it rips a fresh emotional wound just thinking about the fact that I actually don't have a real mother figure. She and I had been close, and not having a parent like that suddenly, especially when Rhea and I were so young... well, it hurts.

"Your mum is dead? And you didn't tell me this, why?"

Once again, I'm forced back to the present, and I sigh. "Why would I? You're my best friend and all, but I just... I don't know," I finish lamely, not really knowing my own reasons. Sad, I know, but it's true.

"Well, it would have been nice to know, if that's why you're so unstable at times..."

I give a quiet laugh, and wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my left hand. "Apart from the fact that I'm a teenage girl with really bad PMS at the most inopportune of times... yeah, that would be why," I try to joke, and even laugh at my failed attempt to make myself feel better, which mustn't have been so bad, beause Harley cracks a grin as well.

But he sobers quickly, and says, "When do you think you'll go?"

"Soon. Two days or less," I reply, feeling a little more confident in my choice now. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, hesitate, and put my hand on my friend's shoulder. "At least this way, I won't be unconscious every month," I smile, but I'm still sad at the thought of leaving my new friends. I stand up, and grab my backpack. "I-if you could give me some space," I frown, looking down at my tattered shirt and jeans, "I'm going to change."

Needless to say, he left the room.

Ten minutes later, feeling human again after I change into a pair of black jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt, as well as sneakers and my necklace. I love jeans, tthey're so comfortable. I put my hair in a messy plait, and then I begin to pack my bag. I put my Quill belt around my waist, and put normal clothes in my bag. A few girly necessities, about $100 cash, my costume (eye mask and gloves included), and a couple of noodle packets, as well as a bottle of water. I look around for my art supplies, and go to put them in my bag. But, having an idea, I put that off until the last moment. Phone in my pocket, I decide that what I had was about all I needed.

I think I'm ready to go.