I Try

Chapter 13 - Search

Lauren's Point of View

"You're not seriously going there, are you?" Zack's voice crackled through my speaker from where my phone lay on the bed. My hands were moving too fast to actually hold it at present and I was also throwing things at random into my suitcase.

My legs were pacing on the floor faster than I could think. Beth is in Berkeley. I know where my sister is now and I can bring her home, where she belongs. She can participate in our plan and we can be an actual family again. That is, until I move back to New York. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

"Yes, Zack, I'm seriously going."

He sighed, and based upon how he sighed I knew he was pulling the ends of his hair. If I were with him I would stop him from doing it, but I'm not, so I can't. "Lauren, stop and think about this for a minute."

I halted in front of the bed and picked up the phone. "Zack, that's the problem. That's all I've been doing for months. That is the reason I let Beth leave in the first place and I'm not going to let her go again.

"Lauren," he sighed again, and the way he said my name stilled me, if only for a minute. "I just want you to stop and think. Beth is where you were - we were - a year ago. Granted, there are different circumstances, but it's not all that dissimilar.

"You didn't want your family to know that you were pregnant. You wanted to handle it on your own." He pointed out. Zack's profession made so much sense to me. He argued for a living. I knew I had no chance winning this debate.

"Beth has a right to start over. Just like you want to, Lauren."

Everything Zack was saying was true. I couldn't force Beth to come home a place from which she wanted to run. If she left, she left for a reason. However, if I wasn't going to force her to come home, I was at least going to find her, and try to understand why she did.

"You're right. I won't force her. I just want to know what exactly happened from her, not her dweeb of an ex-boyfriend's version." I said. "If you knew where I was hiding, you'd want to see me, wouldn't you?"

I knew I had gotten my point across from his silence. "Yes, L. You know I will always find you." His comment applied to the situation, but on a similar level I felt like he was trying to tell me something. If he wanted to tell me he would tell me directly, though.

"I'll call you when I get in, okay?" I said. My panic of trying to talk to Zack without Nash knowing has disappeared, and was replaced with a sense of peace. There was always something in our way. Once this wedding business was over with, we could finally be free.

"Okay. Be safe, angel." He said over the speaker. He knew I held that nickname close to my heart, and I smiled, zipping my poorly packed suitcase. I promised him that I would be and we said our goodbyes. I checked and double-checked that I had everything. Phone, check. Clothes, check. Toothbrush, check. Address?

Check. I looked at it again.

Apartment 3D, Rosary Apartments, Berkeley California.

I wheeled my bag and slung my purse over my shoulder, looking at the cream-colored walls. There was a painting of the Eiffel Tower on the one across from my bed, and an antique clock over the door. I especially appreciated this space now. Now that I was leaving it.

"Lauren?" Nash's voice came from around the corridor.

"Yeah," I shouted back.

"Ready?" He asked, coming into view twirling his keys on his fingers. He was insisting on driving me to the airport and I wasn't sure why; he wouldn't tell me.