Random Memes/Pics: Part Five!

It's Time I- {Vent Chapter}

This isn't a meme chapter, I apologize. But, it's time I get something off my chest.

....

It's time that I reveal the truth to some of you.. I want to say sorry. I didn't want others to know the truth, because I didn't want them to hate me for it. I really wanted to end it all. Why? Because with how I am behind the screen, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box and I feared that I will not be able to live a fulfilling life. My anxiety constantly overcomes my daily lifestyles- I never ask for help, because I'm afraid of looking like an idiot and talking about my own personal problems.

Last month, I had something happen to me, and it made me fall into a depressive state,  making me moody and ignoring the ones that I love and care about. I rarely said anything about how I truly feel, because I hate making others feel worried for me. Sure, yes there were small moments of true happiness that I felt, but, I could still feel that negativity inside of me. Then, over that month, I tried several attempts of committing suicide, because I just couldn't handle it anymore. But, I'm still here...

I guess Saturday and this Monday night was when I wanted it to be the final straw. I decided to end it on Saturday, I had used sleeping pills, but, it only made me sleep in really late.. I decided then to change for the better, to really find happiness and find a purpose in life and wanted to give myself a little alone time from here and other social media, so then I could be happier and try to move on from my past. Sadly, it didn't last very long, because on Monday night, I thought about dying once more.

It wasn't until, a good friend of mine had asked me what was going on and wondered why I wasn't talking to them, that I finally broke down. At first, I wasn't going to tell them, to be honest. I wanted to them to give up on me and go find some better friends, than I could ever be for them.. But, I'm glad that they pushed on. They helped me out and I gotta thank them.. They helped me realized that I need to be a little bit more open with my personal problems if I'm struggling and to be honest with my feelings. If it weren't for them, to be honest, I don't know if you would have ever heard from me again. So, thank you Asy, you're a wonderful friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm glad that you're a amazing friend of mine. And, to my other wonderful friends, I'm sorry as well. You deserve so much better than I've been as a friend to you..

And sweetheart, if you see this.. I'm sorry to you as well. You honestly deserve so much better, than I can ever offer you.