The green text to end all Greentexts

The time machine

>>Be me

>>Be my 17th birthday

>>Want to go to an escape room because I don't give a fuck

>>never have gone to an escape room

>>SAT the next day

>>Invite a group of degenerates to 'help' you

>>one is a weeabo, one is a greeceaboo, one is a koreaboo, one is a trans, one is a fucking idiot, and then there is me: trash

>>go inside said escape room

>>Spend thirty minutes trying to figure out just what the fuck to do.

>>I yell 'Deus vult', as we are in a medeivel room

>>trans person starts fondling the suit of armor in the room. 

>>Someone starts singing all star by smashmouth

>>Confused_shrek.png

>>We make our first discovery while singing it

>>we don't stop  because we seemed to be blessed by a godly shrek.

>>almost complete the room after singing this song for 15 minutes

>>Two six year olds join us

>>The room is a medeivel type room

>>Six year olds start screaming irrationally

>>the fucking idiot discovers something important, but doesn't say it for 15 minutes because she thinks it is dumb

>>Trans person starts to fondle the knights again

>>We go to a second room, which is a horror room

>>The six year olds start screaming louder, and we can no longer hear each other speak

>>a six year old takes a part which we have been looking for, for about 15 minutes

>>Someone knocks on the other side of the door,

>>shit.png

>>six year olds scream, begging for mercy.

>>Lord shrek does not compromise

>>we have to listen to a message but the six year olds keep screaming insanely

>>put them back In the other room. the party looks relieved.

>>we hear the message, and get out, only to find ALL the members have to leave in order to win.

>>I am the sacrifice, so I return.

>>I go in the other room, and find the wo six year olds, are sword fighing with the plastic daggers.  

>>get stabbed about 15 times

>>get the six year olds out

>>Get to sleep late due to the sheer amount on annoyingness I had to endure

>>Get bad grade on SAT

>>Goddammit.Png