Possessive | lrh |

No Feelings

Annie

one week later

"So, they're coming home today?"

"Should be." I take a bite out of my apple, and set it down on the lunch table.

"Are you nervous?" Hayley looks at me with a cautious expression.

"Kind of. I don't know how to act the same as I was before they left." She nods and brings a spoonful of her potato soup to her mouth.

"Who knows, they probably won't even notice. You haven't changes much Annie, don't be dramatic. You just want to feel like you're different, like you're not vulnerable. It's an act." I roll my eyes and chuckle.

"I barely stutter, I feel like I've l-lost my ability to actually care. Oh, and I got this." I pull down my sleeve and point to the tattoo on my wrist. "Shit, Hayley, why did you let me get this."

"Hey! I was drunk too!" She points at me and shakes her head. Her phone dings and she pulls it out of her pocket. I watch as she reads the text then slides her phone back in her pocket. She looks back over at me and smiles.

"Who was that?"

"Just my mom." She looks down and takes another bite of her soup.

"Hayley, you don't have to hide things from me. It's okay to talk about them." She let's go of her spoon and sighs.

"It's Calum. He's just letting me know how things are going."

"With MT?" I prop my head up with my arm. She nods and puts the lid back on her bowl of soup.

"It's getting rough. The three of them are fighting with each other a lot. Luke is-" The bells rings cutting her off. We stand up and part ways to our next class.

The day goes by slow, and I find my mind being preoccupied with the thought of Luke and Ashton. I miss them both, even though I shouldn't. They weren't good for my health, mental and physical. However, I feel like I'm just as sick without them here. I caused problems between the two, and I feel guilty. I feel guilty for all that I've done for the past few months. From being an innocent girl to being torn between two men. From being torn between two men, to drinking and fucking the guard-boy they left for me to forget about them. I disgust myself, yet at the same time I try to not care about it.

When I get home I go around the house making sure everything is in the right place and clean. The house phone rings and I eagerly answer it, knowing it's my parents.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetheart." A smile made its way onto my face.

"Hi m-mom. Are you guys almost here?"

"Plane just landed, it'll be at least a three hour drive home after we out of the airport." I sigh, wanting to see them now.

"Alright. I'm r-ready to see you, Mr. Newton has been driving me crazy with all of the check-ins." Mom scolds me and tells me to be nice to him. I apologize and we end the call shortly after. I sit down on the seat at the island and let out a long breath. Over three hours, what the hell am I supposed to do until then. I bite my lip and look over at the house phone.

"I'm going to regret this." I say out loud to myself. "I always do." I knew what I was about to do was a mistake, I know that it always messes with my mind, but I'd rather do it than sit here alone and think about things that hurt my heart. I pick up the phone and run upstairs to my room. I reach under my bed and pull out a bottle of vodka Hayley got for me. I take a deep breath and put the bottle to my lips. I swallow a good amount, gagging and scrunching up my nose. I sit on my bed staring at the house phone and take another drink. I just want to get a little tipsy, enough to feel something, but I need it to not be enough to be noticable to my parents. As I start to feel it set in I pick the phone up and dial a number I memorized. A raspy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Did I wake you up?" I bite my lip and run a hand through my hair, putting the bottle back under my bed.

"Annie. Yeah, it's fine. What's up?"

"Come over." He sighs and I wiggle in my spot, feeling the drink set in more.

"Annie, we can't keep doing this."

"Please. Just once more before my parents get home. Please baby." I feel my words slurring only slightly.

"You're drinking, aren't you Annie?" I blush slightly, I'd feel more embarrassed and nervous if the vodka wasn't in my system.

"P-Please, Matt." There's silence for a few moments, then a shuffle on the other end.

"I'll be there in five." He hangs up and I lay down smiling at the ceiling. My smile fades as a certain blonde enters my mind. I look at my wrist and trace over the cursive L on my wrist. I groan and reach down under my bed again. I pull the bottle out, but when I remember my parents will be home soon, I put it back. I only need to be a little tipsy to do this with Matt.

I go downstairs and put the phone back in it's spot. I take a drink of water, and put my hair up in a ponytail, while waiting for Matt. I look down at my shorts and tank top, hoping I don't look too bad.

I hear a knock on the door. I open it up to reveal Matt. I feel nervous for a moment, but it leaves as soon as he steps in. I shut the door behind him and turn to look at him. I only stare for a moment before he sighs and pulls me into him. His hands grip my hips gently, and my arms go around his neck. Our lips attach and move together roughly. I moan softly as he grips my thighs and pulls me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he goes up the stairs carrying me. When we get to my room he pulls back.

"You taste like vodka." I giggle and blush before reattaching our lips. The buzz inside me making me more eager to let him fuck me. He lays me on my bed and hovers over me.

"You're beautiful, Annie." I shake my head.

"This is just to distract me, Matt, you know that." He laughs and nods, leaning in and tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth.

"I know Annie. I'm just being honest. I know you just need a distraction, and I just need a good body to fuck. No feelings."

"No feelings. Now distract me."

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im the actual worst. I am so sorry it takes me so long to update. I just lose motivation and inspiration sometimes.

I hopefully will update tomorrow, but if I don't you can punch me.

love you all.