For a reason

chapter two

A few minutes later I was seriously regretting my decision to go with the man. He had begun walking at quite a fast pace at the start, and had continued on solidly ever since. The fast tempo of our journey reminded me of marching, and from that, soldiers. Once I had the thought of marching on my mind, I began to see slight differences in what I was doing, and what I thought I was doing.

My pace had been what I thought was a strong, but otherwise uncoordinated stroll, but when I looked closer, my gait did seem to have a sort of rhythm to it, like left, right, left, right, almost as if I was... marching.

The thought came out of nowhere, but I realised then that marching was exactly what I was doing. My knees were coming high, and I was keeping a firm pace with my steps. I was unnerved by the fact that I had subconsciously slipped into marching, as if it was something I did often, it almost felt natural.

This angered me; I had been so set on discovering who I was a moment ago, and now this random marching hopped in and it felt completely normal. But why would I know how to march? The realisation that maybe I shouldn’t try and remember things from my old life crept up on me, along with the feeling that I was in danger. My mind had been wiped for a reason, whether at my will or not, and until I knew all the facts, maybe it would be safer to just keep my head down and try to act as normal as possible. How I knew that marching naturally wasn’t normal was beyond me.

I focused on stopping marching, finding it surprisingly difficult. Lengthening my strides and softening my step, also trying to relax my shoulders from their rigid hold, I wondered briefly if I’d been marching around all along, or whether it had just started when I’d begun to follow the angry man. I looked up at his figure, and ended up meeting his eyes, a chill ran down my spine when I realised he’d been watching my marching. He held me shocked gaze for a few seconds, while I froze like a cornered animal waiting for the predator to pounce, then dropped it abruptly and continued to walk, leaving me to frantically scramble after him.

******

She had stopped marching.

I had watched her do it for the first portion of our journey, then an adorably confused look had settled on her face when she realised what she was doing, and then I watched her trying to iron out the sharp edges of the stilted walk. Her face was amazingly expressive; I don’t think she had any filter of what emotion she displayed in line with her thoughts.

That was one thing that changed, and I wasn’t sure what I thought about it. But then, the mind wipe that she seemed to have experienced didn’t allow them to pick and choose who they would come out as, mostly the victims were a group of confused weak individuals who didn’t know how to wipe their own asses any more, let alone be a threat; that was why it was such a successful technique. They were rendered completely useless, though not in this case it seemed.

A strange sense of pride rose up in me as I thought of the woman beside me, who still knew how to talk, and walk, and even remember part of her name. Vue, she had called herself, not knowing the entire name, just enough for me to know she was still my woman, just a very confused version, buried under several layers of lost memories. Again, I mused over whether I was pleased she had lost her memories or not. For starters, there were no longer the boundaries there had been between us last time we met, as no one could imprison a person for war crimes if they couldn’t remember what they’d done, I hoped. Also, there was no longer that ‘holier than thou’ tilt to her head, she didn’t seem to look down on me the way that she used to. It had frustrated me so much that no amount of gentle caresses could ever erase the ingrained belief that she was better than everyone one else.

The mind wipe had sorted that though, now everything was a wonder as she gazed at the surroundings. I surveyed them myself; nothing particularly impressive, the same of deciduous trees that had inhabited this forest for all the time my unit had been camped by it. To her however, little Vue with a mind newly infused with a childlike innocence and adult understanding, every leaf, every patch of sunlight that filtered through the trees was an incredible wonder that interested her to no end. 

The expression of astonishment and amazement was one I had longed to see on her face for so long, yet she had remained impassive and unimpressed no matter what. But now, now it was a permanent feature, and my soul ached to have her again, for her to know she was mine.

While my mind was cautious of who the new her was, my body and heart had already fallen in love all over again, because that was what I felt, I knew after feeling it for the years before she left.

I cursed myself for the unscheduled trip down memory lane, it wasn't what I wanted, or needed. She obviously didn't know a thing about our joint past, there has been no flicker of recognition when she had first seen me, which I wasn't sure whether I was happy about. Therefor I should be careful with what I thought about and my use of memories, if only to make sure I didn't get the new her and the old her mixed up.

Vue was a completely different woman to Vaudevue, even her name fit her, it was innocent and much more casual and unpolished than Vaudevue's had been. 

And Gods! She pulled off the name and the innocence well, she was almost too beautiful, so utterly lovely and unknowingly seductive stood there as bare as the day she was born, it was beyond temting. I found myself resenting the fact that I would have to go throw all the 'courting' rituals all over again before I could have her once more.

Because without a doubt I was certain that I would have her, the alternative was too hard to bear.

The familiar change in scenery that was to slight for the untrained eye to detect, drew me out of my thoughts and alerted me to where we were. The camp that had been my home for the last six years was drawing closer, and the memories it brought resurfaced.

Though the war had officially ended a few weeks ago, we had remained here to deal with any rebelling riffraff, but now even they were dying down, which meant my home would be closed down, and everyone there would be relocated to new ordinary lives. Well, as ordinary as men part of the unit that almost single-handily won the war could get. Everyone of us had been offered an automatic position among the new policing force of the new government. There would undoubtedly still be trouble as the new order set in, and that's what we would be for.

I, foolishly, had instantly agreed, believing there was nothing left for me to live for.

And I had never been so wrong, I thought, glancing at the little female beside me, who still had no clothes on, and didn't seem to realise how odd it was. 

Not that I was complaining, but I would certainly have to ratify it before we met civilization. My teeth ground at the thought of others seeing what was mine, the camp was predominantly male, so they would certainly be looking! I wasn't even entirely sure why she was naked, probably some side-effect from the mind wipe, but seeing her this way, without inhibitions or any cares, turned me on more than any seductive poses or lingerie could.

Maybe that was a lie, I would love anything she did.

Out of the corner of my eye I followed her curves, imagining trailing my hands up her sides to cup her-

I cut the thought off before it could fully form, hands clenching into fists in an effort to keep myself sane. This girl would be the death of me, one way or another.