The unknown

Chapter 1

Love is an unknown beast. It catches it's pray in the dark. It's actions are unpredictable, it either comes and attacks slowly but surely or violently, faster than a train hitting you. You won't be able to realize anything until you're stuck in a huge amount of mixed feelings full of pain and happiness.

So let me tell you something about me, my name is Amanda. Inventing me a name was something considered self-evident. See, Amanda means "worthy of love", and my parents were literally crazy about the name inventing. As their only child, they wanted to make me always feel special, important and loved. And they wanted to give me a "special" name.

My parents passed away in a train accident when i was 18, I was the only child so i was left with all their fortune. After the death of my parents i cried for 4 weeks straight, since i had no siblings and didn't know who my grandparents were, I was completely alone. I started visiting a therapist and it really helped me realize the situation. I didn't cry everyday any more, tho it hurts me a bit to admit, the death wasn't so painful anymore. I still lit two candles for the memory of my parents every day at 9.38 PM, and another one at 10.17 PM, those were the times my parents were declared dead. I drank two glasses of red wine every night, one each time i lit a candle, just because red wine was their favorite drink.

That was the time i ignored all my friends for a while, let's just say that i didn't really know how to react to the death of my parents. I started going to the gym, i went two times a day everyday and joined a fitness team and entered in a body fitness competition and came 2nd. I had always been a bit chubby before the death of my parents and going to the gym became a way to lose all the bad energy and bad feelings, madness, sadness and pain. It became the only thing that made me happy and made me feel good about my self and that's why I started going two times a day. I didn't date anyone for 3 years because I was in so much pain and felt huge anxiety any time anyone came near me.