Eggs (An Arthas and Illidan Crack!Fic)

Over My Dead Body

Author's note:

Thank you all who have been enjoying or loathing this piece of work. This next part is dedicated to Tandarus, my wonderful commissioner. It started out us joking about fanfiction while we were all dressed as Arthas in Stormwind Keep, and it's blossomed into this absolute nightmare. You are my muse. Also, I apologize for my long absence, college has been killing me, but I just finished the semester, so I am available to continue the story. Now I present to you all, part four of this spiral into the void. 

Illidan's felfire orbs flickered irritably behind his blindfold. Did Arthas see a glimmer of betrayal in those flickers? "Even the Betrayer can be betrayed.", he thought to himself.  

"Yew hawve untwil sunwise tew give me teh eggs, Death Knight.", sneered Illidan before he leaped into the sky, taking flight with a single beat of his enormous wings. 

Arthas felt despair in the pit of his stomach, his body now normally proportioned, because the eggs had been expelled from him. He ran his calloused, perpetually frost-bitten fingers protectively over his brood. The unforgiving wind blew his cape about as he studied his children.... his would be children, if he so chose to keep them. He felt paternal towards them all, feeling a responsibility towards them, greater than the responsibility he once felt towards the citizens of Lordaeron. 

He could not ignore the hunger of Frostmourne,  aching between his armored thighs. He whipped it out and held the gleaming, rune-etched blade in the moonlight. The pants were not a conventional place to keep a runeblade, but Arthas Menethil was not a conventional man. For once, it was not whispering to him... it was as if it was ignoring him, disappointed in him for his sexual desires outweighing those of his parental responsibilities when he had made "the deal" with Illidan... 

Arthas felt something else in his pants, and it was not guilt. He reached in and retrieved a golden locket attached to a dainty chain, with a "V" etched into the heart-shaped pendant. Arthas dropped the runeblade into the snow, realization hitting him like the ice encasing Frostmourne had hit Muradin Bronzebeard. 

"Varian..." Arthas stammered, the name escaping his lips as a panicked whisper.

"Varian... what have I done....?!" Arthas cried out, slamming his fists against his thighs, collapsing to his knees. He popped open the locket with shaking fingers and saw his face... the face of his lover. Varian Wrynn with his handsome, pale eyes and daddy eyebrows looked back at Arthas from the locket, a warm smile on his lips. All the memories rushed back to Arthas. He was under the demon hunter's spell from the moment he saw him, and it had made him forget about his husband back in Lordaeron!

The memory of Varian holding Arthas' hands firmly and lovingly, the man's hot breath against his ear as he murmured "I want us to be fathers, Arthas."

The memory of Varian making love to him with the intent of conception.

The memory of Arthas and Varian crying tears of joy together when Arthas had morning sickness for the first time, confirming the pregnancy.

And the memory of Arthas sneaking out in the night, having to go on this journey to answer the Lich King's persistent call, in order to keep his family safe, despite the fact he was pregnant. He left a note on his pillow and kissed Varian's forehead gently before he left, Varian hardly even stirring in his sleep. 

"Come to me, Arthas, if you want your lover to continue breathing.", The Lich King had whispered in his mind... 

Going on this perilous journey was the only way to ensure Varian's and their children's safety... and he had been prepared to throw everything away because he was spellbound by the lavender demon's rippling muscles and sultry voice. If it was not for the eggs, he would send Frostmourne through his heart now, the guilt of his near-infidelity being too much to bear... Arthas was alone with hundreds of eggs to protect from a sensual demon, guilt gnawing at his gut, and also fear... fear of his confrontation with the Lich King. 

"Do not send Frostmourne through your heart, Arthas... his heart instead.", the Lich King hissed into Arthas' mind, snapping him out of his one-man pity party.

 Arthas looked from Varian's locket-encased face to the sky, where Illidan was quickly descending from. He clicked the locket shut and returned it safely to his pants storage. 

Illidan landed in front of Arthas, his hooves cronching into the snow loudly. He sashayed closer to Arthas, a confident and sexual aura emanated from him. CRONCH, CRONCH, CRONCH, went his hooves as he stepped. He tipped Arthas' chin up towards him with a clawed finger and said in his irresistibly honeyed voice, 

"I decwided thawt maybweee I came acwoss twoo hawshly... and thawt I should convwince you nicewly..."  Illidan purred these words as he got down on his knees before Arthas. He began to take off Arthas' pants while saying, "Shurwley once I give yew a taste of what yew'r missing, yew will be more... agweeable." 

Just as Illidan was about to begin the good succ, Arthas brought Frostmourne down upon him, driving the blade into his left shoulder. Illidan let out an enraged cry, recoiling from Arthas and staggering back onto his hooves. Blood came oozing from the wound, staining the snow crimson.

"You will have my eggs over my dead body, demon!", Arthas growled, standing defensively between a wounded Illidan and his eggs.