Just A Little Caught In The Middle (A 5SOS Fan Fiction) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 18 - Sad Conversations

LUKE’S POV

After a few minutes of trying to sleep, I ended up picking up the notebook again. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I needed to know what happened next. How much pain she went through even though it killed me inside. It’s bittersweet.

I found my place in the notebook and started reading again.

Alive

Why am I even alive?

Just so I can die under all this pain and sadness?

Well I’m almost there. I don’t even go outside anymore.

I just sit on my couch and feel sorry for myself because I couldn’t get over him like I thought.

I’m a mess. Everything reminds me of him. I can’t even sit on this couch because he used to sit here with me.

I can’t go anywhere without crying. Now I let myself cry because it’s the only thing I can do without him.

I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. All I do is cry because the way that I feel about us does not even compare to the way that I feel about him.

Love,

Hannah

I look over at Calum, who is asleep. His chest rises and falls in perfect sync. Michael is listening to his music as usual and is staring out the window dramatically. Ashton is on my other side practicing one of his drum solos on the tray table.

“Is that good?” He points to the notebook in my hands.

“I honestly don’t know, Ash.” He put away his imaginary drumsticks.

“It wasn’t what you expected?”

“Not at all.”  I sighed turning the notebook over. “What do you think I should do?”

“I’m not the best person to talk to about this and I’m not really good at giving advice but she’s your girlfriend, Luke. You should know each other inside and out. You guys are barely even apart. If she’s keeping things from you like this,” he pointed at the notebook “then maybe you guys aren’t right for each other. She shouldn’t be keeping things from you. You should talk to her. Tell her what you found and ask her why she hid it from you. If she’s not honest you know she’s hiding something and if she really loves you like she says she does, she would tell you the truth, even if it hurts.”

“Why are you always so right?”

“Because I never go left.” Then he laughed to himself. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh c’mon that was a good one!” He nudged me and I stared at him. “Emily would have laughed…” He mumbled.

“Why aren’t you sitting with her?”

“Because she’s sitting with Lily and there talking about girl things. Anyways we will be there in a few hours and we’ll see them then.”

“Wait where’s Sasha?” I asked looking in the back to see she wasn’t with them.

“Oh.” Ash said sadly. “Calum broke up with her last night.”

“What? Why? How do you know that?”

“I heard him talking to her last night through the wall. He got all mad at her and things were said. She got her things and ran out the door. He also told me at breakfast this morning. He said and I quote, ‘I’m not really her type’. ‘She needs a jerk jock that will treat her badly’ is what he said. I still don’t quite understand. He must have been tired.” I laughed.