THE BIG SET

Episode twenty three. Off-Broadway.

I wake up at 4 a.m. and so tense I could produce energy drinks by simply speed-shaking my hands.

Three weeks. In only three weeks Amanda’s friend could be here. I need headshots. I need a copy of Robert’s film and an edited piece of my chomping debut from Jazz Rocks. I need my monologue performance to hit him right in the right brain cell so that he would see me as the new face he’s been looking for.

I sit up and grab all the papers with my notes, but nothing seems to make sense.

Lisa’s character still feels alien to me.

She’s insane.

What was I thinking?

I’ve seen girls do this part in school and it almost always sucks, and the other times it’s just boring. I should’ve chosen something calm and romantic and use my experience with Maxim for sense memory. I could make myself remember all the times when…yeah, when we what? He was probably always in love with her.

Damn him! Damn Maxim Romano.

I hate him so much.

Junior probably told him about me and Andy and he did nothing. He didn’t care. He’s probably holding Nadine as I’m holding this book right now.

I feel anger invading my entire body. How could I ever fall so much for a guy? He’s ruining everything. Why can’t I get over him? Why can’t I be happy with what I have now?

I stare at the monologue until it suddenly dawns on me. I could use Maxim as a person I talk to. I could bring back all the memories and then simply kill them with these words. In the movie, the poor girl commits suicide after Lisa’s speech, so she must inspire destruction and death, which is exactly what I need right now.

I scribble down some ideas and go back to bed, angrily mumbling the monologue. But soon, my evil thoughts turn into a vivid image of a big Academy Awards Ceremony. And by the time I have visualized my long dark blue satin dress and my pushed back hair in front of many camera flashes, I’m slowly falling asleep.

Three days I half-snooze through comedy shows and movie trailers ready to die from boredom. I still can’t believe I haven’t heard back from Nick. I’ve called him so many times that he should be sure I’m a stalker by now, which he probably is, since he’s playing dead. Or maybe has lost his memory after too many Elitinis in his system.

I don’t feel confident enough to go downtown alone and ask this Jeremy guy about his marriage plans. I mean what would I say? Hey, how are you! Maybe you could marry me instead of that Ukrainian girl? Maybe I have no urge to travel to Ukraine but, trust me, I’ve got big plans.

My phone makes a sudden noise and I almost fall off my bed in alarm.

‘Going out tonight. You, me and Italia.’

I smile widely at Claire’s message.

Today is February 29?

What was I planning to do on February 29? There was something…

Shit. The theatre project!

I forgot. Completely haven’t thought about the thing till now.

Panic. I can only panic.

No. No panic. I’m a professional. I don’t need to prepare – I’m a natural.

Bullshit.

Panic!

I dive into my closet for some clean clothes, but unfortunately bored days mean lazy days and the only clean things I have that look fine together is a pair of dark blue jeans and an equally navy blue turtleneck. Blue and blue? Eh sure, why not. Theatres are about dark clothing anyways.