Random depression book

Rant #1- Depression

"Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends, but hate socializing. It's wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb."

"I have depression. But I prefer to say "I battle" depression instead of "I suffer" with it. Because depression hits, but I hit back. Battle on."

"Depression is being colorblind and constantly told how colorful the world is." 

"When you suffer from depression "I'm tired" means a permanent state of exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix."

"Whenever I have a good few months and I think I've gotten over the worst on my depression, it silently returns. This isn't a battle I asked to fight. I'm tired of knowing it's always coming back."

" wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better."

"No one realizes how strong someone with depression has to be just to do daily stuff like shower, brush hair or get out of bed."

"What people never understand is that depression isn't about the outside; it's about the inside."

 "When depression takes over and I can't push through it, I have to close my door and shut the world out. It's the only way I know how to survive."

"Sleep just isn't sleep anymore, it's an escape."

"When you're depressed you don't control your thoughts, your thoughts control you. I wish people would understand this."

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."

"No matter how bad things are right now. No matter how stuck you feel. No matter how many days you've spent crying and wishing things were different. No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel. I promise you that you won't feel this way forever. Keep going."

"My moods don't just swing-they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette."

I am not using my depression as an excuse. Trust me, I'd give anything to function "normally" on a day to day basis.

"It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here, in this hole that I can't climb out of."

I hide all my scars with an "I'm fine."

"People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again."

It all starts with not wanting to get out of bed, that's how you know you're getting bad again."

"Depression exist without you knowing it, even denying it. It is not an illusion. You don't even know you're in it. It takes awhile before you realize it."

"You don't understand depression until you can't stand your own presence in an empty room."

"I miss me. The old me, the happy me, the bright me, the smiling me, the laughing me, the gone me."

You smile, but you wanna cry. You talk, but you wanna be quiet. You pretend like you're happy but you aren't."

Whenever someone tells me to 'Just be happy,' I want to yell, 'Oh, hey, depression's gone! Why didn't I think of that?' But usually I just roll my eyes instead.

What they don't tell you about depression is that sometimes it feels a lot less like sadness and a lot more like the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry.

~Vada